Disposable Anti-Shark Attack Surfboard

This is to sort the major failing of the otherwise excellent sport of surfing, namely the increased chance of being eaten by a shark.

To do this the surfboard would have to be made out of the highly specialized material that is McCowans Original Highland Toffee, a little known confection from Scotland. For those of you out there who have not had the pleasure of eating a piece, it is perhaps best described as the ultimate stress test tool for dental fillings. One piece will shut up a noisy kid for up to an hour, not because they see being quiet results in a reward, but because it is impossible to speak when eating a piece of this stuff. It is in fact quite difficult to breathe.

Using this results in a disposable board that would entirely prevent sharks being able to eat the surfer, assuming they had first attacked the board. McCowans is hard enough to make a board from, and dissolves slowly enough to get a good days surfing out of a piece eight feet long. Also the surfboard would now have a natural tackiness to help the surfer's grip.