h a l f b a k e r yPlease listen carefully, as our opinions have changed.
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Some immutable law, whose name is
unknown to me, states that every time
you are on a long ride in a lift (as I
shall henceforth refer to it), any
intermediate stop to let people off is
accompanied by some fool trying to
get on it for a ride in the opposite
direction. I don't particularly
blame
them - I'm sure they're too busy
thinking about Very Important Things,
like the economy, or lunch, to look at
the lights on the wall.
However! If the lift bell in each lobby
was composed of two tones (a low
"bong and higher "bing"), they could
be played "bong-bing" to indicate a lift
going up, or "bing-bong" for a
downward journey. Pretty soon, they
would instinctively ignore the lift
irrelevant to their trip, and everyone's
happy.
(I've never heard such bells in a lift
lobby, and cursory searching does not
reveal such a system, but I won't be
surprised if it's already well baked.)
[link]
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The real beauty of this is that it will give lift-riders another layer of legitimacy to their elevator fury. |
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Clearly, the lift should play the fake orgasm sounds from "When Harry met Sally" when going up, and the terrified scream of someone plummeting to their certain death when going down. |
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Oh actually, that's an idea - the to-climax part of French Kiss as against the post-climax part of French Kiss. Discolift! |
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[calum] Any idea with the title "Discolift" will get a [+] vote from me*
[*] usual small-print |
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Not baked as described, but most elevators in the US have a common practice of two "dings" for down and one "ding" for up.
It is subtle and most riders do not notice at all. |
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Can the doors make a "Swishhhh" sound, too ? |
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