h a l f b a k e r yIt might be better to just get another gerbil.
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For those times when you go out to dinner and have plans to go the
theatre afterwards, invest in a Dinner Suit.
A disposable, tailored suit reminiscent of the finest anywhere in the
world. Available at restaurant cloakrooms and hotel concierges, for
purchase. Charcoal, navy, pinstripes, checks...
your choice.
No more shuffling napkins about on your lap, just slip on a Dinner Suit
and let it bear the brunt of your messy culinary habits. Then, once
you've finished your meal simply peel it off, roll it up and toss it in the
wastebasket provided.
Also available in "evening wear" and children's sizes.
This would simplify matters...
Silverwear
[normzone, Feb 05 2013]
[link]
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The three course tuxpseudo would be a hit for Prom. |
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In the fifties and early sixties, we called these "bibs", and they were "u-bib-quitous" for all age groups in all sorts of dining establishments, but especially those specialising in surf and turf menus. They were never as stylish as the Dinner Suits described here, but they served a useful function. It was probably an easy decision for cost-conscious restaurateurs to dispense with the additional expense of stocking this minor frill in lieu of increasing menu prices as margins shrank with inflation. |
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Hola, [jurist]. Long time no see... |
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fomal swimwear - Tuxspeedo. |
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You mean you don't normally change after dinner but before the theater? Shocking decline in standards! |
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Please to come in dresses, also for us messy women? [+]
floral prints, sheers, and a touch of lace. |
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Kebab shops should supply dinner romper boiler-suits, for those special intimate moments of ever ending spillage. |
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You wear hosable underwear? |
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That's why I proposed "evening wear", [xandram] &
[bliss]. |
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There's this restaurant in Timbuktu where we deliver
every night. |
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// That's why I proposed "evening wear", [xandram] & [bliss].//
But I don't do pin stripe, checks charcoal- too boring. |
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You know, people, it is possible to eat a meal
without getting it down your front. Use of cutlery
may help. |
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Try eating a Singapore Chili Crab without getting at least
*some* on you, [Max]. |
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//Try eating a Singapore Chili Crab without getting at least *some* on you// |
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I have and I didn't (not get any on me). |
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I was doing OK until I stripped one of the legs and it
flicked all over me. |
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Ribs are OK, if you start out with a knife and fork. Here.
a sloppy joe is an article of clothing. |
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We can even do period costumes and special regional
costumes if you wish. Hell, you want your dinner party to
look like the Beagle Boys? All you have to do is book
ahead, 671-176. |
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//if you can eat a sloppy joe sandwich or a rack of
barbeque ribs without getting any sauce on your
clothing, then you are not eating it right.// (a)
cutlery is provided for your convenience and
hygiene and (b) the sort of person who eats a
sloppy joe is statistically unlikely to be going on
to the theatre afterwards. |
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Now is the winter of our discontent
made gloriously dumber by this bun on a fork. |
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//Using cutlery to eat ribs...is a sin// |
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Oh, go on then - I'll give you that one. |
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However, under what possible set of social norms is
one likely to eat ribs before going to the theatre? Or
indeed whilst wearing anything but the most
informal of attire? |
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Thst's more weight to the argument that you can't choose your
relatives, however much that might be desirable. |
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//a barbeque on the beach, with all the men
wearing tuxedos// I did say social norms. |
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//tuxpseudo//
//a barbecue on the beach, with all the men wearing tuxedos/// |
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TuxSpeedos? And BarB-kinis? |
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//I did say social norms// |
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We're talking about America here, [MB]. "Social norms"
is filed under an entirely different definition to the one
you understand. |
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