h a l f b a k e r yWhat was the question again?
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We've heard the message often from films such as Karate Kid III: "Extreme situations call for extreme measures." This rape protection kit consists of a small cylinder filled with compressed synthetic diarrhea, carried conveniently in a pocket, and a 1/2" nylon tube that is inserted in the underwear
and kept there. When a woman finds herself in an undefendable situation, she simply presses a hidden panic button which quietly blows the load into her shorts. The overwhelming stench and/or mere sight of the mess affects the assailant on a primal level, completely revolting him and compelling him to get away. The sexual assault is thwarted. Of course this system may not work on certain perverts or murderers. Perfect against ill-behaved first dates, abusive ex-boyfriends, and creepy coworkers.
Also available with fake worms and/or corn for extra deterrence. Substance is harmless; shower thoroughly within two hours of exposure.
Kung Flu
http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/Kung_20Flu [mrthingy, Jun 18 2002, last modified Oct 17 2004]
[link]
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In the real world it might lead to rape rage, but may work in some situations. Women, what say you? |
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There's a device, a sonic device which produces super low
frequencies disallowing the victim to control his (or hers)
bowel functions... just point it to the aggressor and pull
the trigger. European police uses it when pursuing a
fugitive on foot. It even works through walls! |
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South Park had an episode about what they called "brown noise." |
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"Strategies like throwing up, urinating, defecating, or
acting crazy are very risky, for women have paid with their
lives for disgusting rapists by losing bowel control out
of fear." |
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- Candice DeLong, "Special Agent" |
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There. Thanks for bringing a few facts to the table, Peter and jutta. If those girls at the eMpTyV stage had been cops, it would be a felony. The point jutta brought forth is completely viable as well. What would be a real deterrent that does not exist? |
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Along UnaBubba's tangent, act like you are going along with it, tell him you want to touch him "there", get your hand on his testicles, and squeeze. It only takes 4 psi of pressure to "pop" one...and he will pass out. |
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So, mrnesbit, if you were being attacked by a rapist, would you trust your life and safety to a canister of shit? Probably not. Far better to attack weak parts of the body, eyes and testicles as already mentioned, also nose, larynx, ears, penis. It's probably very effective to clamp down on some projecting sensitive part with the teeth and tear a piece off. Also the larynx can be easily crushed with a fist, foot, etc. |
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Straight out of a Farrelly Brothers screenplay, mrnesbit. Is your name Charlie or Lloyd, by any chance? And do you own an orange tuxedo or a huge flesh-colored marital enhancer? |
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I envisage a huge weight, with 10 TON engraved on it, piling down on any possible attacker but I can't for the life of me work out how it would be triggered. |
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Bluetooth enabled nanite custard. |
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po... The trigger's gotta be one of those nifty dynomite trigger-boxes you see on the cartoons. That would be cool... |
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He's talking about the detonator boxes used in cartoons for years. Big box with a T shaped handle. |
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There were actually some anti-rape ideas patented which were way worse, including a tube with super-glue and a guillotine and even a block with an affixed spear...OUCH |
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I think this product is amazing. Luckily for me I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome and was able to fend off an attacker by having diarrhea in his lap. I think all women who do not have access to loose bowels should buy this product because it seams to be a useful tool in grossing perverts out. Thank you for this information. I will pass it on. |
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[mrnesbit], no. Just no. That is all. |
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I was expecting that post to finish: -pmboy2000, Apr22 2001 |
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Why is this in 'health: general'? Surely neither rape or diarrhea are particulrly healthy. (and yes I will stop calling you Shirley) |
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I busted my guts laughing so hard at the title of this idea. Also, what [etherman] said! |
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