h a l f b a k e r yTrying to contain nuts.
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A chart with some of the most frequently needed words, accompanied by sign language for the deaf illustrations, is needed on the ceiling above the dentist chair. When asked if that hurt or where did you spend your vacation, the patient, mouth full of hardware, can respond with his/her hands.
Virtual keyboard
http://www.vkb.co.il/home.html [Stubbs] link. [bristolz, Mar 21 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Glove That Speaks Volumes -- Sign Language Glove
http://www.wired.co...,1452,49716,00.html "Eighteen-year-old Ryan Patterson designed a sign language translator glove that works by sensing the hand movements of the sign language alphabet . . ." [bristolz, Mar 21 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]
[link]
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Nice idea. My (Californian) dentist: "So, are Everything But The Girl pretty popular in England then?" Me: "Hgnnnyy" |
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Perhaps some S&M outfits for the staff while you're at it. |
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Not sure I want the dentist looking at my hands. |
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How about a key pad for your right hand, quick reference buttons just for 'Yes", 'No', 'OW!', etc. They could make appropriate sounds when pushed. |
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Don't forget the "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" button. |
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or the, "could you go brush your teeth please" button |
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If the dentist would just look at the tears in your eyes he/she can easily assess that something does indeed hurts. If he/she asked questions while your mouth is full of hardware and whatever, then don't be rude. Kindly remove the hardware and junk from your mouth and have the dentist hold the stuff while you politely answer the question(s). |
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I wish he wouldn't use my chest as a little ledge for his stuff. that really ..... annoys me. |
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Concurring with hippo, this is nice. Funny, too. |
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[po]: Hah! At least you have enough for a tool platform . . . some of us aren't so lucky. |
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said *little* ledge, bris |
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I warned him, you hurt me and I BITE. it works. |
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I prefer the headphones approach. Convey the "I don't want to talk" attitude and avoid being stuck with the radio commercials of choice. |
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You can even make soundtracks for your dental work. "It's the end of the world as we know it..." Hey, it beats "BUD -- WEIS -- ER." |
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Fortunately for me, my dentist has the uncanny ability to translate even the most remote-sounding gargling noises produced by dental instruments being shoved into one's mouth. My guess is that he spent some time in Louisiana. |
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What about translating sign language into audio? The
person who can't speak uses sign language while wearing a
glove that detects the movements (or better still, a
wearble keyboard -type device
[admin: see link -- bristolz] ) and translates them to
code - a wearable computer translates the movements
and decodes them into a sound processor (kinda like what
you can do on a Mac)... and voila, the signer can be
"heard" by others via a tiny speaker. Plus the voice could
be chosen, modified, and/or customized by the owner. |
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I like it, though I imagine sadistic dentists might leave off translations for "please stop" and "that hurts" and instead stock the cards with "thank you may I have another" and "no thanks, I don't want any more novacaine." |
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This sounds easy until you try to do it. I took a sign language course once, and it was a vexing as trying to get my tongue around those French syllables. My hands seemed stiff and stupid. It might be better to have a pad with buttons for "ouch", and "get off my chest." |
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Jeff, considering how much you hate FJ "spamming (his) crappy ideas all over the halfbakery", you seem to be offering an awful lot of positive anno's.
Are you starting to feel a little guilty? |
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No, just giving him a fair shake. As you can see, out of the approximately 5,468 ideas he's submitted, I've found a handful of good ones. |
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I thought that by maybe pointing out the ones that actually work, I might help him out a bit. |
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Well, out of the 5,468 ideas he has posted, only 47 of them have recieved more bones than buns.
So approximately 99.14% of his ideas are liked by the rest of the bakery...
I can work out your ratio for you if you like Jeff!
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A quick calculation reveals 3 buns to 4 bones, or 42.8% approval! |
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I'd rather go for [po]'s savage-threat--bewildering--scheme. I always warn against friendly remarks and politenes when directed twards dentists. the bite-threat is just right |
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If not sign language, how about a mime language poster? |
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Use a Stephen Hawkins dental chair.
The problem is, that you would probably have to work in some strange vocabulary, such as Universe, Black hole, Unification theory and so on.
Dentist: "So Ling, what do you think about the weather?"
Me: "Like a Black Hole in this part of the Universe. The Event Horizon looks a little Quarky".
Dentist: "I'm sorry, I don't understand a word you are saying". |
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