Delaminate Wales

My plans to lacquer France, thereby creating an unpopulated replica which could be sited conveniently for the English, have met with some skepticism. Je suis desolée.

Howevertheless, we have a backup plan which will surely be better received.

Wales, as you know, is made of slate. It goes down a very long way, and no doubt cost a fortune when it was new. They don't build 'em like that any more, and most of Wales was built comfortably high above sea level, to leave room for valleys and hills. You really have to admire the workmanship.

Now that England is becoming crowded, though, we ought to think again.

You will doubtless be aware of the Welsh propensity for digging holes ("mynes" as they like to call them). Because they didn't find much in these holes apart from coal and slate (no surprise there, then), most of these holes are now disused. Many of them are also connected by underground tunnels.

So here's the plan. We cap each of these mineshafts, and we start pumping in hydrogen under pressure. Sooner or later, this will inevitably cause delamination of the slate - first locally but then in one enormous blister under the entire country.

Because Wales is basically domed (the bits on the coast are all at sea-level, and it slopes down where it joins England, to avoid creating a trip hazard), the entire top layer of Wales should trap enough hydrogen to be lighter than air. At this point, we simply tow the surface of Wales eastward* using helicopters, until it is clear of the present coastline. We then open some of the capped mineshafts, and release enough hydrogen to set Wales down gently in the sea, along with its inhabitants.

What we're left with, of course, is a Wales-shaped area of clean, unoccupied rock, where Wales used to be. Since the Welsh army will be stuck on the old Wales, we should have no problem claiming this for England and making it habitable.

[Or, to use the more conventional notation, westward.)