h a l f b a k e r y"This may be bollocks, but it's lovely bollocks."
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Occasionally, one feels the overwhelming urge to throw someone out
the window. In these times of Triple-Paned Argon-Filled windows,
this
can seriously injure the object of your wrath *INSIDE* your domicile,
thus creating the potential to raise your insurance rates and leave
you
open to annoying
lawsuits!
Worry no more! GROGco presents the window A.I. smart enough to
open quickly to 1) Allow "foreign bodies" to quickly pass and
continue
their likely plummet to the sidewalk (or rose garden) below, and 2)
Give
you the Tort-Free life you so utterly fail to deserve!
BUTT WEIGHT!! THERE'S MORE!! GROGco Defenestration A.I. may
also be configured to recognize Fido's Tennis Ball (close rapidly?) or
Fluffy's Laser Pointer light (open rapidly?), depending on your
particular
disposition toward either pet.
Batteries Sold Separately.
"All your base-pair are belong to us"
http://weknowmemes....erator/meme/228445/
Stick THAT on the front of your T-shirt ... [8th of 7, Nov 29 2018]
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Annotation:
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This is the product I've been waiting my whole life for. I liked
it even better with the typo. |
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Re. the Fido's Tennis Ball recognition, the trick surely would
be to open the window very briefly to let the ball through,
then close it sharply to produce the satisfying dog/window
"thunk" sound. If you need some test subjects, I believe that
[8th] has ShitZus, which are similar to dogs but cause less
heartache if things go wrong. |
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Your very Configuration Wish is My Command, My Dear English
Deep-Pocketed Friend! |
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<...here's GROG re-writing his Marketing Plan...> |
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Can it be programmed to open and then quickly slam shut again when a bunch of [MB]'s irreplaceable biological samples are hurled window-wards ? |
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//Detects Bodies Being Thrown Out The Window// |
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//irreplaceable biological samples // Everything I have is
cloned. |
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"All your base-pair are belong to us". |
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<link> specially for [xen]. |
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//... [MB]'s irreplaceable biological samples... // |
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The A.I. can be configured for Moles -- but be ready for it's *Hearty
Laughter* circuits to kick in. |
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<wonders if crossbreeding Moles with Tribbles would produce a large crate of suitable Christmas gifts for [MB]/> |
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Recent experiments have shown that a deceased mole acts as
an absolutely superb wadding in a mortar. They are
practically cylindrical anyway and, if loaded in the right
orientation, their fur has remarkably low friction. |
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How many moles is a butt-weight? |
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Talk about a window of opportunity - it panes me to think of missing it. |
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