Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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This would work fine, except in terms of success.

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Cyclops glasses

Or "cyclops glass"?
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Edges - bah. Frames - bah and bah. We at BUNGCO like neither. Thus: the Cyclops glass. One piece of glass before both eyes. Round, it was a little large, like a saucer and it would tend to steam up because of the nose. So: one rectangular strip of glass held before the eyes.

Of course the optometrists work their magic on the right and left side of the glass, to make your vision good. And there is still a bridge for your nose, which proved unavoidable. But one big rectangle is cool.

bungston, Aug 12 2016

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       // a bridge for your nose //   

       For your nose to run over, perhaps ?
8th of 7, Aug 12 2016
  

       I should add that the Cyclops glass offers the side benefit (so to speak) of corrected peripheral vision.
bungston, Aug 12 2016
  

       Are you saying there is a notch for the glass to fit the top part of the nose? I'm aware that if well-polished, the bare glass can avoid having a sharp edge there.
Vernon, Aug 12 2016
  

       Nice one Vernon! Yes: well polished and well knurled glass nose notch.
bungston, Aug 12 2016
  

       I don't get it. If there's a bridge then it's not rectangular, no?
pashute, Aug 14 2016
  

       pashute: for those offended by the desecration of pure rectangularity, there could be a little plastic bridge kludged onto the bottom, for to perch it on your nose. Maybe one of those wire jobbers with the 2 oval pads.   

       Or for those who wish fewer parts and can tolerate less that Euclidiarity, a knurled nose bridge of the same glass in the center bottom of the rectangle.
bungston, Aug 14 2016
  

       I should point out that other elongated shapes would also be very nice: oval, trapezoid.   

       Perhaps a tapered oval shape with pointed edges itself simulating the shape of an idealized eye!
bungston, Aug 14 2016
  

       + but is should be called *Cyclops Glass*...as you mentioned.
xandram, Aug 18 2016
  
      
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