h a l f b a k e r yFewer ducks than estimates indicate.
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Ronaldo lined up the ball, setting his sights on the upper
right corner of the goal. This one was going in, sealing
the game and the championship for his team.
Little did Ronaldo know, the match ball had been
substituted with a special multi-layer ball prepared by a
secretive cabal of sports-haters
known as halfbakers, with
a sandwich filling of dilatant liquid between the inner and
outer skins of the ball.
Ronaldo's foot swung in a powerful arc, contacting the ball
perfectly. The force imparted by the swinging foot caused
a sudden shear thickening in the dilatant layer, making the
ball feel like a solid, rather than elastic, item.
Ronaldo's shot was wide; his foot broken; his dreams of a
championship medal dust.
Flexible Armour System
http://www.dowcorni...rotectionsystem.com
[AusCan531, May 04 2012]
[link]
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Ha - where have you been? [21] |
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[+] for gratuitous malice directed against
overpaid prima-donna footballers. |
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Of all codes, [8th]. Millions a year to be paid thugs. |
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oh, I was wishing for a grand, formal event for evening wear made of custard!! |
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That's after the season decider. |
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Some big sloth would figure it out quickly and eat the
ball, BEFORE the game could ever be played. |
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// Millions a year to be paid thugs // |
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We would qualify this by making it clear that
said malice extends only to those
participating in Association Football; Rugby
players are indeed also paid thugs, but
manage it with fewer histrionics and rather
more style. |
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If we've tar on the brush we might as well paint all of
them the one colour. Soccer, Rugbys League and
Union, Australian Rules, American Football, Gaelic
Football, Futsal... They all seem to provide the
perfect growing conditions for overactive ego glands. |
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//I don't think such a thin layer would have any noticeable effect...// |
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I must object as I know this to be incorrect. |
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I once filled small balloon-animal balloons with a dilatant and then stitched those to the back-side of a pair of gloves in-line with the bones of my hand. So maybe an 8th of an inch thickness.
I could then punch a 90 degree metal corner molding with full force and it felt like slugging a side of beef.
Same effect when I smacked the back of my hand into that same corner. |
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That's a truly fucking odd mind you have there,
[2fries], and that's coming from me. |
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I was planning a line of lightweight mechanics gloves and flexible kids bike helmets at the time.
I 'hate' smashing my hands wrenching on cold vehicles in the winter. |
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Nothing quite like using a 3ft pry bar to pull out a big,
rusty nail and crushing fingertips between wall and
bar, when it finally lets go. |
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//I was planning a line of lightweight mechanics gloves and flexible kids bike helmets// |
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Go for it [2 Fries]. I'd suggest flexible knee and elbow pads for the skateboarding and scootering crowd. Get one 'trendy' leader to wear a set on Youtube then wait for the mail orders to come flooding in. What changed your mind? |
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Never mind - baked. See [link] |
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Sell them under the brandname "Busted Custard"? |
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Discovering dilatant toques for snowboarders let me know I was a little late to the ball... so to speak. |
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//toques// "Beanies" for the Aussies and "Knitted Caps" for the Pommies. |
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