h a l f b a k e r yAmbivalent? Are you sure?
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This low-velocity crossbow comes complete with laser sights and a lightweight titanium bolt, tipped with a tiny rubber ink-stamp bearing a pair of red lips with which to annoint your love's forehead. The bolt is telescopic and contains a small airhole in the rear end notch allowing it to compress smoothly
and harmlessly when it strikes it's target. While being fired the airhole is sealed by the rubber bowstring to prevent compression.
Also included is a pack of scented notelets that can be fastened around the bolt using the supplied red ribbon, for the delivery of your own message of undying love or cryptic riddle.
Cupid's Crossbow does not guarantee results, but does guarantee a response.
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Annotation:
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It would be fun to send random people cryptic riddles for no reason whatsoever. Definite bun for the idea, but I hazard to guess what will be next; Cupid's Grenade Launcher, Cupid's Sniper RIfle? |
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//While being fired the airhole is sealed by the rubber bowstring to prevent compression// Obvious bun for health and safety design details of this idea. |
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now if I can just get Johnny (Depp) to stand still a few seconds... |
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it needs to be a red ribbon [wags]. |
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A well placed shot between the eyes is the highest form of flattery. |
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Notelet: “If you are male, I sincerely apologize for my lousy aim. Please pass this to the woman next to you…” |
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[shz] Interesting point - would a man rather admit to being gay than being a bad shot? |
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//it needs to be a red ribbon [wags]// - Quite right. Corrected. |
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Hmmm... crowded room and a 3mph breeze from the ceiling fan. I always knew those hours spent playing Scorched Earth would pay off someday. |
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<Stereotyping> show me a man who will admit he is a bad shot and I will show you a gay man. |
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+ just in time for Valentine’s day |
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At least, it does if you buy the BorgCo version of this ... |
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Hmmm, pistol crossbows ... |
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I was just wondering what a Borg would think of this. On one hand it shows love, on the other hand it lets you shoot people. |
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Well you could consider that Cupid conventionally permits you to actually experience love while fantasising about imaginary projectiles travelling at high speeds and piercing the flesh of a human. |
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This idea could then be understood as a mechanism for shooting actual projectiles at the target human, whilst offering the possibility of fantasising about the possibility of experiencing love. |
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I recall a bit of a movie I once saw. In it a powerful man dresses up as cupid, gets out of a limo in the woods, and hunts someone with a bow. I couldn't find it because holy crap there are a lot of movies about people bowhunting people and one of them is named Cupid. |
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