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Crime prevention patio, with holes in it

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Fairly obviously I was thinking of patios with built in ground penetrating radar, but that sounds pretty pricey.

So, I opted for a patio with holes in each corner and a bigger one in the middle. The holes are lined with metal and have a big cork in them. At the top.

By placing sensors in each of the corners and a small charge in the middle one it would be possible to rapidly find out just how many bodies there are underneath it. Or pirate treasure. Or something else.

Might also serve for Crazy Golf course, if players can figure out some way to the get the ball back for the bottom of the tubes.

BTW I was reading a book on Isaac Newton and saw that he was made master of the royal mint in 1695. I was born in 1965 and presumably had some mint-flavoured food/drink and/or medicine. Final and compelling evidence of my reincarnation and genius for the sciences.

not_morrison_rm, Sep 29 2015

Fred West https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_West
Strange but true. [8th of 7, Sep 30 2015]

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       The Royal Mint is in Llantrisant, South Wales - popularly known as "The Hole with the Mint in it"
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 29 2015
  

       Does not prevent crime, but may aid in the detection.   

       Reminds me of the notion of intruder alarm systems keeping you secure: they don't, they (hopefully) let you know when your security has been breached.   

       // figure out some way to the get the ball back for the bottom of the tubes // vacuum cleaner hose?
Tulaine, Sep 29 2015
  

       C4.
8th of 7, Sep 29 2015
  

       //C4   

       Wasn't he the younger brother of C3PO? I remember the paternity test scandal...
not_morrison_rm, Sep 29 2015
  

       I don't really get it. Am I dumb or is this idea dumb? Or both?
Voice, Sep 30 2015
  

       Oh paddy oh paddy oh patio, i luv ya, i luv ya, i luv ya so.   

       No matter how many bodies they bury beneath ya. My heart and soul are bequeathd ta ya.   

       by Paddy o Furniture ( songwriter and proprietor )
popbottle, Sep 30 2015
  

       // I don't really get it. //   

       There once was a builder called West,
Whos patios were just the best,
But the gardens he paved
Contained multiple graves
And the bodies of his murdered guests ...
  

       <link>
8th of 7, Sep 30 2015
  

       //West   

       Ahh Herefordshire..nicest thing that ever happened to me in Herefordshire was falling into a swimming pool, which had no water in it.
not_morrison_rm, Oct 01 2015
  

       Technically, that's known as a 'hole' ...
8th of 7, Oct 01 2015
  

       OK, I'll bite.   

       // Technically, that's known as a 'hole' //   

       Which, Herefordshire or the swimming pool?
Canuck, Oct 01 2015
  

       Both.
8th of 7, Oct 01 2015
  

       // nicest thing that ever happened to me in Herefordshire //   

       Actually, Bulmers in Hereford brew some truly wicked apple brandy. We can attest to that. We would describe the flavour, if we could remember it, or indeed anything about the succeeding two days, apart from the flashing green penguins, the headache, and the doctor in A&E asking us if we wanted interrment or cremation ...
8th of 7, Oct 01 2015
  


 

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