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Large bore artillery weapon, capable of launching up to 1.3
tonne of previously viable bovine in the general direction of
an enemy / target.
Ammunition loadouts include BSE (Bovine Spongiform
Encephalopathy, MEAT (Medium Explosive Anti-Tank), Bull
Round and Beefcake (Handy for controlling
crowds at boy band
concerts).
Cow full of puns
Cow_20full_20of_20guns
You'll notice "Cowitzer" was mine... [theleopard, May 02 2012]
[link]
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and also serve as novel delivery system abbatoir->wholesale meat merchants. |
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I can see it now.....
Person A - "Damn, where is that beef?"
Person B - "It's ok, I just saw the muzzle flash"
Person A - "Gentleman, deploy the large landing spike and the burners, this one's a kebab order" |
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That's pretty much how I saw it, [nmr]. I could have
spent half a day writing scenarios. |
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Firing animal corpses at the enemy is baked, shirley? |
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It's certainly baked in Monty Python and the Holy Grail |
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It was something that the siege-engineers of old would do, trebuchet style. There's nothing like a smelly old carcass lobbed into the enemy's stronghold to share a little pestilence. |
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Like Greek Fire, only more macrobiotic. (Or to put it another way, what [AbsintheWithoutLeave] said) |
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"What have you named your gun, soldier?" |
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[UnaBubba], you ripped all your cow puns out of my
idea when you ditched your account. There was
some quality ones there too! |
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// How many would fit into 1.3 tonnes I
wonder? // |
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447 (adult cats, 1 year old or more- not
kittens). Using a wooden crate, it's a cube
roughly 1.2m on an edge, and fits on a
standard pallet. |
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Getting the top layer in is very difficult, but
once the lid is nailed on and the joints are
taped … |
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Don't forget to not make any airholes. |
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Surely you could get some more in there, if they were vacuum packed beforehand? |
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// could have spent half a day writing scenarios// |
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Ah - not gainfully employed, then. |
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I object to the mistreatment of moo cows in this
idea. I object most vehemently. |
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Even though this is theoretical mistreatment and probably
parody, I'm not a fan of this Idea either. Cows are gentle
creatures. Tasty, but deserving of humane and respectful
treatment. |
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I'll throw in a "me too". I'm good with it, as long as "previously viable" means up to and not including some pre-launch point, and not ballistically mooing. |
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Although... some particular cows I have known- I would allow my moral outrage to take a break as they hurtled into the fray. |
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I took "previously viable" to mean post-mortem, but I have
this thing about respect for an animal even after death. I
don't like to see mistreatment of remains. In a movie it's
okay, because I know it's simulated. |
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Nothing personal, [UnaBubba]. |
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I meant they were dead, and by the BSE and MEAT
components, not usable as foodstuffs or anything
useful other than fuel or grist for the comedy mill. |
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Howitzer better? I hold this idea in udder contempt. |
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Okay, if we're launching leftover cow parts after the useful
bits have been taken and due respect given, then I say fire
away. |
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In the words of Duck Edwing, "Baruch atah adonai eloheinu , Kowinnnng flibbbbbble kersplatttz". suitably disposed of, and respected. |
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