h a l f b a k e r y"This may be bollocks, but it's lovely bollocks."
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Dr. Silberman: Why didn't you bring any weapons, something more
advanced? Don't you have, uh, ray guns? Show me a piece of future
technology.
Kyle Reese: You go naked. Something about the field generated by a
living organism. Nothing dead will go.
Dr. Silberman: Why?
Kyle Reese: I didn't
build the f*cking thing!
Dr. Silberman: Okay, okay. But this cyborg, if it's metal...
Kyle Reese: Surrounded by living tissue!
––––––––––––––––––
Cow full of guns.
Cows with guns!
http://www.youtube....watch?v=a5s5qGg01nE
The ridiculous epic by Dana Lyons. [wagster, Dec 22 2008]
Bionic Bovine
http://images.googl...e=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi
[Bungston], something like this? Just don't hook it up to Skynet!! [theleopard, Dec 22 2008, last modified Dec 23 2008]
Fluke
http://www.amazon.c...d=1229958721&sr=8-1
Whales, much more than meets the eye. [Noexit, Dec 22 2008]
Sarah Connor?
http://www.youtube....watch?v=ZyTy8dcUrpY
[jaksplat, Dec 23 2008]
Robullcop - for [2 fries]
http://www.straight...f/2007/05/kuh11.jpg
Everything is on the internet. [theleopard, Dec 26 2008]
Videodrome
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086541/
"Long live the new flesh!" [DrBob, Sep 11 2009]
Man eating cow
http://www.thetick.ws/comheroes.html
Not a sidekick - far too dangerous [RattyBunyip, Sep 14 2009]
[link]
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Makes sense. Cows have multiple stomachs: lots of storage space. |
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- and as a bonus: Steak from the Future! |
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It's remarkable that the story demanded that the T2000 should be made of some sort of liquid metal, as, coincidentaly, the CGI techniques for rendering a shiny, smooth surface were the state of the art in CGI when the film was made. |
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//the CGI techniques//
For the part where the T2000 is frozen, shatterred and the reformed, they actually mocked-up a non-CGI system of a tilting table and globules mercury. |
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//and as a bonus: Steak from the Future//
Pre-aged steak too! |
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Shouldn't this be an inflated blue whale full of guns? |
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Oh come on - that would be silly. |
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To be fair to [19thly], I did consider the cavernous insides of a blue
whale as a possible organic vessel. One might feasibly be able to
transport an entire armoured vehicle in its gut! However, I know little
of the post-apocalyptic world from whence the machines come and
thought that the human residents of such a time would presumably
be able to get hold of a cow more readily than the planet's largest
ocean-dwelling beast. |
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Alternatively, for the animal rights activists among you, the chap
going back in time could dismantle the weapon and swallow each
piece whole, reassembling the entire construction after its passage
through the intestines, like Michael Lotito – who famously ate an
entire plane, although, disappointingly, he didn't reassemble it
afterwards. |
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Oh, good point! What about a tank wrapped in seaweed then? Or smeared with bacterial slime? |
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Does a tree count as a living organism for the purposes of teleportation? - If so, it might be simpler to hollow out a tree (in a pot, obviously, so it can travel) and store the guns there. The advantage would be that trees are more gun-shaped than cows. |
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'Tis a good idea, though if indeed wood doesn't work then perhaps
more gun-shaped animals should be considered. I'm thinking
bazooka-in-a-python here. |
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Would make an all new line of business for the out-of-work
taxidermists of the ravaged future. |
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Yo, leopard, check out my link for your whale transport system. |
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First, + for the great idea, but I'd love to be a fly on the
wall as the screenwriter was selling this concept to a
potential movie producer. |
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Producer: "So he travels through time with a cow full of
guns to fight the Terminator?"
Screenwriter: "Yes."
Producer: "How does he get them out? We're talking about
a PG-13 rating still aren't we?"
Screenwriter: "Well, cows get slaughtered all the time."
Producer: "But it's not entertaining. If your hero kills an
innocent cow the audience is going to turn on him. If he
reaches into the cows butt we can kiss that PG-13 rating
goodbye. Not to mention the character's heroic image."
Screenwriter: "Well, what about bullets in hamsters? Or
better yet, rats. Nobody likes rats."
Producer: "My assistant will show you out." |
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What rating did that episode of Futurama with the vomiting whale get? Surely all that's needed is a whale which spews a stash of machine guns? |
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Why can't the cow be a sidekick? The human does the looking pretty and the impassioned shouting, but when there is shooting to be done, out comes the cow. |
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The guns would fire from within the cow out of normally present orifices. |
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Actually, thinking SF for a second, this premise could be sort of cool. An entity desgined for maximal weapons totage in minimal space. The entity would be very big but just humanoid enough to pass for human. It would require a special diet which would be hard to procure. The entity would be semi-sentient, but exactly how semi-sentient would be revealed late in the movie. As it turns out, my idea is converging on something like the big human-eating vision-questing critter in the book Android's Dream. |
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//The guns would fire from within the cow// Cowbines (coughs) |
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Guns don't kill people... |
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Terminators kill people. Also mad cows, they kill people too, right? |
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Fixed the Bionic Bovine link. Something like what you imagined [bungston]? |
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// Also mad cows, they kill people too//
<Bovine Hulk voice>Don't make me mad. You wouldn't like me when I'm mad. </bhv> |
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But if guns don't kill people, doesn't that also mean that Terminators don't? Wouldn't it be the inventor of the Terminator that killed people? Or that bloke with the blocky processor thing whose name i forgot? |
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//doesn't that also mean that Terminators don't//Oh no, that blade arm thingy certainly went through that bloke's milk carton and then through his head. |
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//that bloke with the blocky processor thing whose name i forgot?// |
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Dr. Miles Dyson, the fictional inventor of the neural net processor that led to Skynet, not to be confused with James Dyson, inventor of the dual cyclone vacuum cleaner. |
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Bionic bovine link is blank [theleopard] |
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I'll pass on the spongiform. Thank you. |
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You're safe from potential spongification as long as when removing
the weaponry from the cow's body you don't accidentally eat the cow's
brain or spinal column. I know, I know, no easy feat, but with a little
self-control the time-traveling warrior can avoid such a calamity. |
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dam, I used up my cow puns on cow dressage |
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There's just so much at steak. |
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Angus, Get Your Gun
ox-drawn cartridges |
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...with bolt action to boot, but it's no defence against a milk-tank. |
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Ha! Excellent [UnaBubba]. |
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[Bungstone -22 Dec 2008] Sidekick? Not all cows need guns and stuff to be dangerous [link - about half way down]. |
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