Cow Fart Flame Bingo

The Animal Methane AutoFlamer straps to a cow's back and positions an electronic sparker strategically near the source of methane emissions. An electronic methane detector activates the sparker and ignites the gas, reducing it to its basic and harmless elements. There is a solar cell to recharge the system, and a spun-glass sleeve to protect the tail from the flames.

While reducing harmful atmospheric polution, this will also create a new source of income for the dairyman.

Dairymen and cattlemen could charge the public admission to set up a picnic blanket and watch the evening flames or participate in flame games such as:

Flame Bingo: The Flame Bingo game is run by a game host. There is a large, illuminated clock with a face divided into five second, ten second, fifteen second, etc. intervals, depending on the number of available bovine and their "activity frequency".

Players buy bingo cards that have a random times printed in each square. The game host records the time of each flame, and players mark their cards as they see a flame that corresponds to a time on their cards.

Also available for sale: A home version of Flame Bingo, ideal for "male bonding parties".