Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Cough Burp Fart Sonata

  (+3, -6)
(+3, -6)
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A percussive form of music, best created spontaneously, whereby the players are your colleagues and the notes are the various infuriating coughs, sneezes, hiccups, sniffs, burps, farts, clicks of the teeth, sighs etc that plague your every waking hour in your open-plan office.
calum, Jan 30 2008

on a different note... http://www.engadget...ing-cellular-sound/
[xandram, Jan 30 2008]

Spike Jones and his City Slickers http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spike_Jones
[skinflaps, Jan 30 2008]

Ray Stevens at his worst... http://imperfectsym...stats/#comment-8131
Ned Nostril and his south sea's paradise, put your blues on ice, cheap at twice the price band (Iggy iggy uggy uggy) [RayfordSteele, Jan 30 2008]

Family Guy http://www.youtube....watch?v=iCBqGmBva4Y
Remember the time Peter Griffin out farted Michael Moore? [jaksplat, Jan 30 2008]

Not safe for work. http://www.youtube....watch?v=a_NWCpzks70
[nomocrow, Jan 30 2008]

Slim Spincter's Christmas Gas! http://www.slimspincter.com/
I once did a radio interview about the halfbakery that, it turned out, immediately followed a bit about this record. [jutta, Jan 30 2008]

Josef Pujol http://www.thehuman...omane-fartiste.html
not be sniffed at [xenzag, Jan 31 2008]

Song made up of burping http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=0auCDOERZyE
Especially by that Scouse fool... [Jinbish, Jan 31 2008]

[link]






       I searched the internet and the halfbakery for this and was somewhat surprised that it didn't exist. So surprised that I'll be surprised if no-one can link to the same or similar idea from here or the wider web.
calum, Jan 30 2008
  

       I would bun this except that I can't stand the clicking of the teeth...
xandram, Jan 30 2008
  

       And novelty ringtones.
hippo, Jan 30 2008
  

       I have a feeling I may have seen this, or something v similar, On Sesame Street or summink. You wouldn't want to use my office. It's like a fuggin terminal chest ward on world phlegm-hacking day in here sometimes, and when the hayfever season kicks in - oh, man. You'd swear you were in a zoo.
Murdoch, Jan 30 2008
  

       I've heard recordings like this, but I really don't care to track them down.
DrCurry, Jan 30 2008
  

       This was baked by "Spike Jones and his City Slickers" I've seen the video and it was hysterical.[+]Google it, there's some vids on boob tube as well.(eg:"Cocktails for two")   

       Linky.
skinflaps, Jan 30 2008
  

       I have a .wav file of Wacko from Animaniacs belching out the Blue Danube. Ah the Animaniacs: they lived too brief.
RayfordSteele, Jan 30 2008
  

       "A percussive form of music..."
Wind, shirley?
phoenix, Jan 30 2008
  

       Uncle F***er. Link.
nomocrow, Jan 30 2008
  

       Oddly enough, the gentleman in Jutta's annotation calls himself "Slim Spincter". He appears to be a living typographical error.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 30 2008
  

       Maybe it's intended as a variation on Phil Spector?
jutta, Jan 30 2008
  

       Possibly so, but Phil Spector has an 'h', whereas Mr. Spincter, who could so clearly use one, has not.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 30 2008
  

       Shlim Spincter?
jaksplat, Jan 30 2008
  

       Pretty guitar on the Slim Spincter samples.
nomocrow, Jan 30 2008
  

       //Shlim Spincter?// *sigh* I was alluding to the fact that he presumably intended to call himself "Sphincter", but failed to do so. I suppose it's just one of the mysteries of life.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 30 2008
  

       I'm surprised that no-one has mentioned Josef Pujol, who turned the act of farting into an art form, becoming at one stage the highest paid entertainer in the whole of France. see link
xenzag, Jan 31 2008
  

       From [xenzag]'s link:   

       "For his finale Le Pétomane inserted a rubber tube into his anus, attached an ocarina to the end of the hose, and played popular tunes while inviting the audience to sing along."   

       Utter genius. He was apparently the highest earning performer in France for a while, which speaks volumes about the French.
wagster, Feb 05 2008
  

       //He was apparently the highest earning performer in France for a while, which speaks volumes about the French.//   

       Yeah. He was the only performer to break a strike by Entertainment Workers. He didn't mean to- he had just had a lot of beans for lunch.
Jinbish, Feb 05 2008
  

       Hmm. I have looked at the links - well, as many of them as I can at my thoroughly websensed workplace - and it seems (from here) that each is concerned primarily with one bodily function and most have traditional instrumentation in them, too. Still surprised that this wasn't ever thinked of for some self-consciously kooky pan-European advertisement for, I dunno, trampolines or something.
calum, Feb 05 2008
  

       There are only two problems with this idea. The first is that the title gives the impression that this would be a sonata composed entirely of bodily noises. The second is that it turns out to be a sonata composed entirely of bodily noises.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 05 2008
  
      
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