Contentious will service

Most people want simple, clear wills which leave their property and possessions to specific people and organizations in an efficient and unchallengable way.

Lawyers are reluctant to write any other sort of will for fear of being accused of malpractice.

However, there are some occasions when a testator may wish to deliberately leave a contentious, complex and badly written will. An obvious circumstance is that when the potential legatees are nothing more than an ugly, venomous bunch of squabbling small-minded ghouls, who metaphorically line up like buzzards on the telegraph lines, salivating uncontrollably and jostling for position while they gloat over the imminent demise of their benefactor.

You can't choose your family, Unfortunately.

Now, one option is to leave everything to the Dog's Home, and although it's a worthy cause it's a bit passé.

What is needed is the new BorgCo will-writing service. Tell us who you want to annoy, and we will produce a muddled, rambling, stream-of-unconsciousness tirade worthy of James Joyce, or indeed Tristram Shandy, that will set brother against sister, mother against son, niece against uncle, in the fine tradition of Jarndyce vs. Jarndyce, ensuring years of stress, misery, and gigantic legal bills.