h a l f b a k e r yWarm and Fussy
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A friend told me a few days ago of her new laptop's sudden demise. Apparently she'd gotten so angry with it, she punched it and broke the screen.. This behaviour is a little rash, but i can see where she's coming from. So i suggest to prevent any more laptops coming to an unhealthy end, when purchased,
they come with an airbag installed in the monitor. When the consumer gets to the point of abusing their computer, a sensor on the front detects the sudden change in air pressure as a fist comes flying towards it, and automatically triggers the airbag, which is released from a horizontal opening at the top of the screen. Therefore cushioning the blow and preventing the consumer from very regretful destruction of their computer.
Cartoon
http://www.uprb.edu...computer-airbag.jpg
[skinflaps, Jan 15 2007]
[link]
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(+) Of course, you could just buy a computer that you will never get frustrated with. <cough>Mac</cough> |
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I agree with ed, nowhere will you find a shinier paperweight. |
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*Array index out of bounds*{POP} |
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Moments before the code crashes, safety bags inflate to save you from any harm |
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My demonstration test-bed went ca-put yesterday - about 2 minutes before a demonstration. I was set up on a suspended mezzanine level and came ][ *this* close to throwing the whole kit and caboodle over the edge. |
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As it was, I patched together a smoke-and-mirrors psuedo-demo on my laptop and my audience were none the wiser. |
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Now that I am back in the office, having had the night to think about it. I am prepared to do a cold-blooded computer murder. |
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//When the consumer gets to the point of abusing their computer, a sensor on the front detects the sudden change in air pressure as a fist comes flying towards it, and automatically triggers the airbag, which is released from a horizontal opening at the top of the screen. Therefore cushioning the blow and preventing the consumer from very regretful destruction of their computer.// |
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...and then the laptop goes flying off the table, lands on the floor, and shatters....think about it |
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Ah, but this all depends on where the computer is... If the back is against the wall, any pressure released by the fist will send it back but won't go anywhere for the wall will stop it. If it DID fall down, the computer will sense the rapid increase of air speed around it and diffuse a complete outer air bag for the computer, resulting in a simple 'ffft' as it hits the ground but no shattering of electrical components whatsoever.. |
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"...a sensor on the front detects the
sudden change in air pressure as a fist
comes flying towards it.." |
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This was recently implemented in a Prudential advert. So there. |
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Just one problem i see with it. |
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Someone will try to punch it and the airbag will go off as planned. The next time you try to punch it, the air bag does not go off, having been used, and the computer ends up damaged anyway. |
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Either the airbag must be reusable or it must be easily replaced by the consumer for protection from the next incident. |
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Lets go with the re-usable air bag... Once catastrophe involving computer is over, you activate a button on your computer and the air bag is 'sucked' back into the computer, ready for the next bout of uncontrollable rage. :) |
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So would any sudden change of air pressure cause the airbag to activate? Like if I am looking at the screen close up and then I spontaneously sneeze? |
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No, only certain air pressures connected with fist-flying shall do this. Anything with the same air pressure would have to be going at a pretty fast speed, therefore would probably damage the computer anyway. So air bag once again stops it.. Mug, fist.. same sorta thing. |
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Let me say - this I really want to punch my computer, I don't want an air bag getting in my way. I want to do real damage. |
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I personally think it would be more fun to cover a far wall with old monitors. If the PC gets aggravating, pick up your handy-dandy pistol and begin shooting the bastards. Maybe computer intimidation works. |
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It would be perfect for when my computer freezes up..... now with the airbags, i can hit the computer and it would be ok. I can't hit my computer or throw them because i know, i'll lose my data.... My concern would be how much would it cost to deflate the airbag... |
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Not a penny, just press a originally named 'deflate' button and the air just gets sucked out & air bag gets sucked in. :) |
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