h a l f b a k e r yVeni, vidi, teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini.
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Any number of versions of this basic principle could be set up once standardised pond-certification schemes are set up.
Competitively, the players stand at evenly-spaced points on the perimeter of the pond, and attempt to attract the largest crowd of ducks to their area, either with a bread limit,
or simply aiming to be first to get all the ducks.
As solo skills challenges, players could aim to feed every single duck in the shortest time possible, or, using finely honed anatidine control techniques, aim to feed some ducks but not others. Again bread limits could be imposed for added difficulty.
In professional play rules would have to be instigated to prevent the ducks from being influenced prior to the match; perhaps randomised venues selected from every certified pond in the country?
Farduckmanton
http://meaningoflif...rduckmanton&lang=en
[Ned_Ludd, Mar 10 2008]
Somewhat similar
Sharkball
Feeding water fauna as a sport? [globaltourniquet, Mar 21 2008]
[link]
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would throwing cake be considered cheating? |
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Only if we "let them eat it". |
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I love this for so many reasons and am probably really good at it! |
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I think we need to make an early start on
developing a standardized olympic duck. |
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When I feed the ducks, they climb out of the pond and surround me. All five hundred of them. It’s briefly amusing. To onlookers, more so. |
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exactly 500? thats very interesting. |
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Amos - would you mind my asking
where you come from? The reason is
that it's been found that people either
do or don't produce dimethyl butanone
in their perspiration (it's a yes or no
thing). Humans aren't very sensitive to
it, but ducks are (it's present in the
preening oil they spread on their
feathers), and apparently they go nuts
for it. There's a strong ethnic
component, with DMB production being
almost universal in some ethnic groups
and almost absent in others. |
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MB, I've heard the ducks at your country estate will eat only lightly-toasted croutons with a sesame seed garnish and a dash of rosemary. |
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I like this idea as well but not sure why. If we want to be able to validate the winner and even introduce a range of gambling as well we really need a way to validate who's bread was consumed by what duck in order to check who gets the most bread into the targeted duck. Thoughts of edible RFID with a unique chip in every piece of bread and scan them after should work but that sounds a little expensive. |
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//where you come from//
[MaxwellBuchanan], there's a German ancestry line, also possibly Sioux or Shoshone, born in NW USA, yet living near Atlanta. I think I'm turning Japanese. I really think so. |
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//dimethyl butanone//
That must be it. I once inadvertently attracted a mongoose, which climbed up onto me to steal my cheeseburger. But that's happened less often lately. |
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Would the ducks be bred like bulls for the arena, to provide sport and chalenge? I have found that domesticated ducks generally come to the first person to hit crumb to water which is somewhat dull. Really wild ducks would fly away. hmmm. |
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[Amos] Not sure about the mongoose
effect, and I guess your ancestry is
sufficiently intriguing to make it
impossible to guess whether you'd be
DMB+ or DMB- . I think it's fair to say
that a cheeseburger would probably be
a strong factor also. |
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[Canuck] We've found the ducks hate
herbs (as most animals do - herbs
evolved their herby oils to deter/poison
animals). However, I have to admit to
asking Cook to toast the croutons for
the ducks; they float longer than if they
were plain bread. (The croutons, that
is; not the ducks.) |
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//exactly 500? thats very interesting.//
<Dustin Hoffman in Rainman type of
accent> Five hunderd. That's, ah, five
hunderd ducks, ah, five hunderd.<
\DHiRtoa> |
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There would have to be some fair way of concealing/releasing the ducks at the beginning of the contest to ensure they were evenly spaced and unable to...make eye contact or whatever. The best part of that is, it would require a master of ceremonies to shout, "release the ducks!" |
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Many years ago, my brother taught our ducks to run to him when he whistled, simply by whistling while he fed them. I whistle like that to ducks now and then, but never get that rush of happy quacking that used to make me feel special. |
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There's a control technique for you. Is Pavlovian conditioning going to be legal? |
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In the individual competition, you could set up a course and the competitor has to get the duck to swim round bouys or through hoops by strategically throwing bread. The timer stops when the duck is in the finishing circle and is then reversed for the amount of time the duck stays in the finishing ring. Penalty time is added for any parts of the course missed. |
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There could be championships for wild ducks and also where the competitors bring their own duck. |
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<aside>Will this idea generate any echos?</aside> |
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// Is Pavlovian conditioning going to be legal? // |
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Well, no-one seems to be objecting to the Democratic primaries...... |
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This is a sort of avian-aquatic take on the BBC TV show "One man and his dog", where shepherds use trained sheepdogs to round up small groups of sheep. Standardised ducks probably won't be necessary - compeptitors will have to be able to adapt their technique to the idiosyncratic behaviour of a random selection of ducks, adding to the zest of the competition. |
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Judging would probably have to involve weighing the ducks; a very large pair of scales would be required, with a suitable suspected Witch in the counterbalance pan ..... |
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[8th of 7] I was thinking of that show, I can't believe I didn't think of saying "One man and his duck". |
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It's a bit like the old English village game
of "Hen faddling", isn't it? |
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Glad you all like the idea. |
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Include a spot of synchronized duck wading. |
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Would you have to be a professional to compete or could you just dabble in it? |
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// Is Pavlovian conditioning going to be legal? // |
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I bet advertisers the world over are drooling at the thought. |
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...Roland was at a loss to explain his failure in the tournament. He had all the little pancakes. He had the crispy sliced eschallots. He had the hoi-sin sauce. He had the sharp knives. He had the stainless steel hooks and the large butcher's block... |
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There are going to be some very fat ducks bobbing around on these ponds aren't there. Perhaps some sort of re-hab facility for over-breaded ducks should be established. |
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They could loose weight in a duck spa… perhaps a hot spa … say 350 F (177 C) for two hours. The large butcher's block is optional… Think Apple dressing with cinnamon... |
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I would love to compete! [+] I should note
that bread is not the healthiest food for
our fowl friends. |
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I freakin' love ducks, dude. |
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