h a l f b a k e r y"Put it on a plate, son. You'll enjoy it more."
add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random
news, help, about, links, report a problem
browse anonymously,
or get an account
and write.
register,
|
|
|
Please log in.
Before you can vote, you need to register.
Please log in or create an account.
|
I was just listening to my second favorite song ever, Dr.
Love, by
Kiss, and I was thinking, this solo sucks, it is making me
think bad
things away from which I am pleased to be jerked when the
chours comes back in. And I was thinking I would much
rather be
listeing to almost anything,
even a commercial, rather than
this
Ace Frehley solo. Maybe its a Paul solo. Anyway, it sucks and
I
would rather listen to a commercial than this shit but so
what if
all songs which formerly had solos were sponsored by taste
mavens who would sell products inside the song. what a
dastardly
plan.
A network of taste mavens who compete to provide
approriate commercial suggestion to users of pop songs who
are in a semi hypnotized state analogous to being in love.
Maven
http://www.urbandic...fine.php?term=maven From the Hebrew, apparently. [8th of 7, Sep 12 2017]
Chours
http://en.bab.la/di...ish-romanian/chours "Chours" is the Romanian for "Concert". Hope that helps. [hippo, Sep 12 2017]
Skip to 6:28
https://www.youtube...watch?v=sOnqjkJTMaA Now picture Vincent Price saying "You could save up to 15% on your car insurance." [doctorremulac3, Sep 15 2017]
[link]
|
|
So, there are a couple of Digital Underground tracks
(definitely Doowutchyalike and maybe also the Humpty
Dance) which include a fade out towards the end of the
song (where, on a rock song, you might expect to find a
guitar solo) and then a fade back in, creating a space
wherein an advertisement could be placed. This was
taken a little bit further by RZA on his "Bobby Digital in
Stereo" album. On the track "Airwaves", RZA sez "We
pause for radio station identification" and the song stops
for a bit, this explicitly encouraging advertisement mid
song. |
|
|
This concludes your annual disgressory annotation dealing
with 1990s rap music. |
|
|
Or, manufacturers could just change their product
names to phrases from popular songs. If, in the
1970's you'd created a chocolate bar named
"Scaramouch, scaramouch, will you do the Fandango?",
just imagine how much free advertising you'd have got
by now. |
|
|
That would be very cost-effective. |
|
|
Is Beelzebub still giving out free devils, do you know ? That would be a great promo gimmick. "Buy this chocolate bar, get your own personal demon ! " |
|
|
Then again, Richard Branson's probably already thought of that. |
|
|
I'm not being sarcastic, I'm not being ironic, I'm not kidding. |
|
|
In the twelve years I've been coming to the Halfbakery, this is
my absolute, hands down single favorite idea. |
|
|
And bonus kudos for obliquely pointing out that Ace Frehley
and Paul Stanley are "guitar players" not guitar players. |
|
|
//In the twelve years I've been coming to the
Halfbakery// - newbie! |
|
|
We are glad for you, but sadly we find the idea entirely opaque and utterly incomprehensible. |
|
|
A translation into one of your more mainstream human languages would be helpful. |
|
|
Commercials Instead of Guitar and Drum Solos in Songs |
|
|
Guitar solos usually suck so they should be remixed, and the
guitar solo tracks replaced by
commercial messages. Guitar solos, drum solos and bridges
are "intermission" for a song, so why not monetize them? |
|
|
We may not need more commercials, but we certainly don't
need more guitar solos. Let me put it this way, would you
rather replace commercials with guitar solos? Hmm.
Actually, that might be kind of interesting. |
|
|
There's an interesting example of what this might sound like
in the song "Thriller" when Vincent Price does a short
monologue during a breakdown at the end of the song. (See
link) |
|
|
[+] quite possibly the most evil thing I've read in awhile. |
|
|
// I'm not being sarcastic, I'm not being ironic, I'm not
kidding. In the twelve years I've been coming to the
Halfbakery, this is my absolute, hands down single favorite
idea. // |
|
|
Ha ha ha! Awesome, doctorremulac3! :D |
|
|
Here's my favorite thing by Black Flag, a radio commercial: |
|
|
First 1 minute 50 seconds of |
|
|
Black Flag
"Crass Commercialism"
https://tinyurl.com/y7bg9qse |
|
|
No no no no no no no no NO! I... I.,, I... here, the key is in
the way gene Simmons voice breaks when he says, youre
that is the ticket. If youll notice, geneorama uses an
apostrophe in the significantly middle of the word, so that
you will receive at full volume, exactly how impossible it
was for him to hold his asininity in that note, he couldnt
do it. It is impossible for him to care about you because he
is so attractively full of himself which is exactly how you
feel when you are a teen ager who has just experienced
their parents attempted inconspicuous shoving of google
Apple Facebook amazon Microsoft down their thoat, this
the tenuous. The guitar solo is a teetering attemp to give
momentum to an infinity that interestingly and tellingly
refuses to give up control of the moment momentum to
lesser mortals resulting in a total interesting failure of the
human aspiration to achieve. Ace Frehley is just a different
kind of person than Gene Simmons, there is an attractively
lesser status that Ace can inhabit that gives you the feeling
that you are that soloist, that you could be Ace Frehley as
a sort of silent partner to the greatness of gene simmons
BUT IT DOESNT FUCKING WORK ACE. Hes an asshole but
hes a genius, Ace, there is nothing you can do about it,
you are just permanently and forever and for infinity, a
lesser musician, not a genius, just a regular old crappy joe,
taking shits in the outhouse thatvwhen youvate drunk get
all over the place and get messy and you are not perfect it
is ok Ace, even though your name is Ace and you should be
good, you suck, and it is not your fault, it is just some kind
of tucked up Rick and roll lesson that you are shit and not
good and suck it up and Im a loser baby so maybe you can
have some kind of future legitimacy where you will become
the super unspoken genius idiot in the far far far future
Ince we get computer systems that can Change poop into
gold then maybe one day that fucking solo woo have some
kind of legitimacy but until hell does feeeze over and
banking on your artistic ability to imagine things I hope for
you that you are capable of imagining yourself as a
musician because that is not the reality of the situation
according to my furious and 50 year long calculations, you
are an idiot and I would prefer not to have to listen to your
unnanipulated guitar solos for the rest of my potentially
infinitely long life. Ms Bowles. Kiss and Black Flag do not
belong on the same internets page because they represent
opposite ends of the spectrum. Gene Simmons is about self
agrandization, and legitimately so as he is a genius,
whereas Ace Frehley much less Black Flag is about fandom,
two totally opposite ends of the spectrum. All typed on the
iPhone 7. Can I get a sponsor? |
|
|
Maybe Ace you are my sponsor. |
|
| |