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Commentators

 Commentators call a non existent game as though actually being played
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This relates to an idea by kaz 02.02.20 to which I could not comment but wanted to... here goes- Why not just cut out the middlemen (the players) altogether and have the commentators just sit somewhere and call a game as though there actually were players playing on the playing field. Mind you, that might be interesting for the guys who go to a ball game and listen to the commentators on the radio doing a play by play, which of course will have nothing to do with what's going on on the field. The commentators would simply be drawing on every exciting play they could remember ever seeing, without actually watching a game in progress. I mean, why have games at all... imagery would be king. Would be great at the Olympics. No televised games. Just commentators from each country calling each sport as they saw fit and declaring whoever they wanted as the winner. Talk about "calling them as you see them". Imagine how happy Russia would be.
—moi, Feb 24 2002

(?) Flanders & Swann http://timothyplaty...m/FaS/alphaset.html
hob, is this what you mean? [calum, Feb 25 2002]

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       This is fine for American football, where action occurs in staccato bursts of minutely preplanned detail and the commentators can consult a flip book of 'plays' to describe. A far greater degree of imagination would be necessary for sports where the action flows, like football (soccer).   

       I'd be all for it with tennis, provided the commentators hired a human beat-boxer to do the sound effects.
—calum, Feb 24 2002
   

       Hee hee! Kind of like the famous 'War of the Worlds' broadcast. (Common 'taters are from Idaho.)
—Dog Ed, Feb 24 2002
   

       Add a few unusually verbally skilled athletes, too, for the "close-up" effect:   

       "And I fake left and leave him in the dust... and I'm going for the 3-point... jumping... a little bead of sweat flies off my hand following the ball in a beautiful arc... I MADE IT--"   

       "NO YOU DIDN'T! I slap it down just in time and it goes to..."   

       Etc. Dungeons & Dragons for jocks!
—hob, Feb 25 2002
   

       [calum], there's a very funny old Flanders & Swann routine about a tennis umpire, with sound effects, circa 1950; beat-boxing avant la lettre...
—hob, Feb 25 2002
   

       Variations on this have been done. Computer generated play-by-plays have been created for sports such as boxing and horse racing. Fantasy match-ups have been concocted by inputting in variables for each boxer/horse, and running a simulation. I read an excellent round-by-round 'commentation' of a dream boxing match, I believe it was Ali vs. Jack Dempsey or some other such impossible match. There was a similar horse race featuring impossible combinations like Phar Lap, Secretatiat, Citation and Man O War all together.. I believe Man O War won that.
—waugsqueke, Feb 25 2002
   

       Some of the old Championship Manager style soccer management sims didn't show you any visuals of games, but just gave you a text commentary describing the action.
—pottedstu, Feb 25 2002
   

       Here in the UK some terrible satelite channel, or was it channel 5? couldn't afford the rights to a world title fight. So instead they got two guys to act out the fight as it progressed presumably they listened to the commentry or could see monitors showing the real action
—rambling_sid, Dec 13 2004
   


 

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