h a l f b a k e r yRenovating the wheel
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Whilst walking to the horsemeat vending...sorry supermarket, I noticed a circus tent pitched behind the train station and it gave me an idea.
I propose a combined zoo and train station. Elephants act as porters and carry your luggage, while you ride over to platform 11 on the back of an ostrich*.
Meanwhile,
your luggage is being scanned for dangerous items, and concealed bananas, by a team of trained baboons.
Meanwhile, on the platform itself, a petting zoo is available, with rabbits, cows and other furry animals for deserving children. The other children get the porcupines and the coral snake, only being released is they solemnly swear to shut up for the whole journey.
The zoo will benefit from less bored animals, and the revenue from the train company. The train company will benefit from the revenue protection. This is provided by having the ticket barrier being inside the lion enclosure, with auto-opening sides if the ticket is invalid.
*Not to be confused with Österreich.
http://brokensidewa...gins-in-louisville/
[pocmloc, May 04 2013]
[link]
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Don't they already use that system in UK railways? - only it's the passengers who are exotic pedigrees, as only they can afford the exorbitant fares. Anyway it's a winner for me as long as you guarantee that the lions are periodically let loose on the hordes of violent, ill mannered morons who follow football teams around. [+] |
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Oh no, that would be cruelty to animals. |
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In Thanesar, India, there is a railway station in a
zoo. The decision to build a zoo (known,
imaginatively, as Thanesar Zoo) was taken in 1853;
the decision to extend the railway through
Thanesar and to build a station was also taken in
1853. Neither side seems to have been aware of
the other's plans. Construction of the zoo began
about 200 yards away from the startpoint for
construction of the station, and it was several
months before the two construction teams
realized that they were each extending their
groundworks in the other's direction. |
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After some embarrassment and hasty discussions,
it was decided that both projects would go ahead,
with the train station located more or less in the
middle of the zoo. In 1910, three giraffes and one
passenger were killed in a collision. The zoo itself
closed in 1944, but the station remains active. |
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(In the book Life of Pi, there's a zoo with its own
private railway; whether this was inspired by
Thanesar I have no idea.) |
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I love trains, zoos , and the two combined. + |
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Warszawa Zoo railway station..ha! Big girly fibbers, it's not even that close to the Zoo. |
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// In 1910, three giraffes and one passenger were killed in a collision. |
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Completely avoidable, everyone knows giraffes have poor colour vision. How were the giraffes driving the train to know if it was the yellow or green signal? |
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A zoo on a train would allow it to travel the country
and allow people who live far from normal zoos to see
exotic animals. |
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I'm too fat, so my bun is being withheld pending mechanically or genetically augmented ostriches. |
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// How were the giraffes driving the train to know if it was the yellow or green signal?// |
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We clearly need alternative cuing for giraffes and other colorblind drivers. |
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Am I the only person who sees the title and think "who
wrote this tosh?" only to realise it was my own work? |
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^No, we all knew it was yours. |
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I would like to offer [NRM] this small engraved
plaque and a crystal decanter to honour his use of
the English word "tosh". "Tosh" is one of those words,
like "bloody", that can only be used plausibly by
someone born and raised in this sceptred isle. |
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