h a l f b a k e r yWe don't have enough art & classy shit around here.
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It's the latest in urban self-defense: A spatula (for our
American-impaired readers, this is the kitchen
implement
evidently known to the limier sort as a “fish slice”).
The
head folds down towards the handle, and when drawn
can be
extended with a mere flick of the wrist. As your
assailant
begins laughing in bemusement at the unusual weapon he
now finds himself accosted with, the razor sharp,
serrated
talons affixed to the leading edge of the spatula are
drawn
rapidly across his face. The handle provides a significant
reach advantage, and the slits in the spatula head aid in
reducing aerodynamic drag as the strike is made, much
like a
flyswatter in principle. The assailant thus dispatched,
the
head is folded back down, where the talons tuck neatly
into a
protective cover.
Probably legal to carry concealed, maybe; if it's not, at
least
you'll have a great story about how you were arrested for
possession of a concealed spatula, presumably with
intent to
bake.
Thanks to [MechE]
http://questionable.../view.php?comic=540
[normzone, Jul 31 2012]
Folding Spatula
http://images.searc...&.crumb=OdMvdBasONG
This one is SOOO close but only has a serrated raking edge rather than razor-sharp talons. [jurist, Jul 31 2012]
Battle spatula
http://basicinstruc...vilized-person.html
[Phrontistery, Aug 01 2012]
Combat spatula
http://www.google.c...:0,i:81&tx=72&ty=52
[Phrontistery, Aug 01 2012]
This is an OSS issue commando knife. The Fairbairn Sykes style knife has the original issue spatula "pancake flipper" scabbard.
http://www.google.c...0CHEQ9QEwCw&dur=471
Too weird. [Phrontistery, Aug 01 2012]
Ninja version
http://www.sjgames..../combat_spatula.jpg
[Phrontistery, Aug 01 2012]
Prototype
http://www.google.c...:429,r:22,s:25,i:15
[Phrontistery, Aug 01 2012]
Early protoypes?
http://www.silverco...onaryfishslice.html
Now these are classy weapons... [Canuck, Aug 02 2012]
Making grub while at war...
http://frontlinecooking.blogspot.com/
[normzone, Aug 02 2012]
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We have spatulas here as well - indeed, in Henry VIII's great kitchens at Hampton Court Palace one can see early Tudor-period spatulas, made from wood, brass and leather. On this side of the pond we tend to giggle childishly at American spatulas when we hear that they are made by the "Rubbermaid" corporation. |
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I'm aware of that, but my understanding (i.e. what
Wikipedia says) is that the British usage of “spatula”
refers to some device with no holes in it, whereas the
tool described in this idea is known as a “fish slice”. |
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I don't remember this when I've lived Stateside sooooo... if a spatula is a fish slice, what's a spatula? |
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What happens when the opposition springs his (or her) combat frying pan on you? |
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The web comic "Questionable Content" has a couple of
pages about a Malaysian Battle Spatula. |
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A favoured weapon of the Russian Army, during
WWII, was a "tools entrenching" aka shovel, with the
edge of the blade sharpened. Very useful for close
quarters work, apparently. |
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But not much use up against a 120 calibre slotted
spoon. |
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A spatula can refer to a turner (pancake typically) which what I think is meant here. It can also mean a kind of rounded broad bladed knife, often used for spreading icing, or a bowl scraper (the rubbermaid reference). |
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Oh, PLEASE, someone remake the Indiana Jones movies... the spatula will revitalize the industry. I'm just sure of it. [+] |
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All except for the last one. That one should've never been made at all. |
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I was all set to deride this as too similar to a folding
entrenching tool as well, but then I thought Combat
Spatula has a really nice ring to it, so I bunned it. |
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I've never heard of a 'fish slice'. |
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Jinbish used to call it a "fish lifter" because he was a maniac and a lunatic with no sense of what is proper. |
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Jinbish was a paragon. An inspiration to us all. Mainly
because of what you said. |
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Funny you should mention this - I have one of these that came in a set of barbeque tools, although it's not the folding model. One side is toothed and sharp, and definitely not carry legal. |
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ahh a "flipper". spatula's one of those bowl scraping things - quite handy. |
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Wossname, navy seal chief cook, not bruce willis the other one. |
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Ahh, yes, [norm], I know precisely which tool you're
referring to. However, this is distinguished by the fact that
the teeth on the BBQ tool are on one side of the spatula
head, so the device would be swung like a knife. In this
idea, the talons are on the edge farthest away from the
butt of the handle, as of it were a large, flat claw; you'd
swing it like a flyswatter, creating 5-7 parallel cuts at a
time. |
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Make grub and war. Just not at the same time. |
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[FT] Casey Ryback? (Steven Seagal - Under Siege, 1992) |
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^ thanks: couldn't remember the guys name despite having seen most of his movies. |
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[Phrontistery], here you go (link). |
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I like the idea of the regular Rubbermaid variety used for combat. Because it makes an awesome slapping sound on bare skin. I am thinking a West Side Story sort of thing, combatants with wrists lashed together, free hands with spatulas instead of knives, but both in Speedos, nice big white bellies, lightly misted with Wesson oil. |
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I can't rid myself of the idea that this will only be useful if you're attacked by a fried egg. |
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