h a l f b a k e r yNow, More Pleasing Odor!
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Glasgow's subway system is small. It consists of two circles, one inside the other, one clockwise, one anti-clockwise, swinging through 15 stations. Until the arrival of the new, gleaming white rolling stock, the subway trains were a vivid 1970s orange.
The new white trains are a bit boring. I
propose that we jazz them up.
At the exit tunnel at the end of each platform we need to install a plotter printer which runs around the mouth of the tunnel. The plotter printers will hold a range of different colour quick drying marker pens. Each plotter printer will be connected to a central computer system, which will be controlled each day by a selected artist (or member of the public lol what could go wrong).
The artist will choose the day's design and it will be built up piecemeal by the train leaving each station. If each train does the full 24 minute loop 34 times each day, then each train will get 510 applications of pen, which is more than enough to allow for arresting patterns and designs to be made before the white spirit is applied at the Govan depot at bedtime. Fresh canvasses are sent out early in the morning for the cycle to begin again.
Images can be built up by use of continuous lines or by rapid pointillism or a combination of both, the design appearing over the course of each day.
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//one clockwise, one anti-clockwise// |
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Hence the famous lyric, "there's something wrong with Glasgow, for it's going round and round"? |
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Brilliant. You'll be able to tell what time it is by the completeness of the designs. To introduce variety, the trains themselves could have the same technology on their facing sides, painting the insides of the trains as they pass, or the travelers waiting on the opposite platform. |
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Totally approved - at last the halfbakery returns to form - it's been deluged with dismal trolling rubbish for many months now. Meanwhile, I loved the old clockwork system orange trains - the new ones are characterless Euro style crap ie probably better in some way, but they look awful. |
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