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Climbing precarious ladders to stick seasonal decoration on
high walls and to the top of trees need no longer be a
problem!
Simply load your Christmas Decoration Gun with a tinsel
cartridge, pull the trigger and compressed air will send it
toward your desired wall, where it will adhere using
sticky
pads or glue from the gun’s special glue well. Alternatively,
use a bauble magazine and set to ‘scattergun’ mode for
instant tree improvement.
[link]
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[+], but not // compressed air // ... black powder would be much more satisfactory. |
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It's easy to launch a load of boiled sweets from a 100mm firework mortar, by enclosing them in a cardboard sabot with a compressed newspaper wad behind it. |
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It's also possible to launch small, hard, unripe apples in the same way, but this procedure is definitely not recommended. |
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"Joy to the World..." SPLAT... Ooops, looks like Junior
loaded up the Christmas Gun with dog poop again.... |
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This beats my Sprint-loaded Retractable Tinsel Spool idea, yet
to be posted. [+] |
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Intended to be used at a run, presumably ... |
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Much better than a gun decorated with candy
striping. |
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Vaguely Killer Clowns from Outer Space... |
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Or maybe Chris-Mars Attacks ... ? |
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Just a random off-topic thought: If they take the *Christ* out of Christmas we'll be left with *Mas*, which as we all know is Spanish for *More*. Pretty much sums up what the season has become, don't you think? |
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I say bring back Saturnalia - what Xmas was before it was co-opted for political purposes. |
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If you take Saturn out of Saturnalia, you are left with alia, which is Esperanto for "other". I think this is a much better summation of how the midwinter festival has become more and more corrupted by religious co-option over the past couple of millenia. |
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// corrupted by religious co-option // |
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Very prescient. We too are in favour of a blood sacrifice, preferably of a high-status human, at the Winter Solstice festival, to ensure the return of the Sun and the coming of Spring. |
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An overpaid, talentless celebrity would be an ideal candidate. |
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