h a l f b a k e r yPoint of hors d'oevre
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Whilst pondering on using chickens to provide reaction force for a space plane, chicken lays egg, equal and opposite reaction and all that, I thought it might be better to have a Chihuahua poo powered version instead.
The spaceplane, which bears an uncanny resemblance to a very large Spitfire (with
very well concealed undercarriage, to deter certain types, I shall say no more...) has arrays of Chihuahuas running in wheels. The arrays are concealed in the wings, in two layers, with the wheels going in opposite directions to avoid a torque reaction.
The output of aforementioned animals is captured, freeze dried and then ejected from the rear of the spaceplane, by a magnetic catapult, which is powered by the generators connected to the wheels. The water is then added to the dried dog food onboard in order to keep reaction mass.
The arrays are wing based, mostly so the pilot and any passengers don't have to listen to the yapping. Should the space plane develop a fault, it'll be able to call on the orbital stations of the RSPCA for assistance.
Airspeed velocity of an unladen chihuahua
http://www.cbsnews....01_162-4973629.html
[Phrontistery, Jun 30 2012]
[link]
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Will there be a control to jettison the propulsion system in an emergency ? |
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//Will there be a control to jettison the propulsion system in an emergency |
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Hmm, yes it attempts to land the power arrays onto the Chihuahua Breeders Association building. |
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The re-entry control system was sourced from a £1 shop and the 1927 issue parachutes will absolutely prevent what could be a Tunguska-like event. |
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//Airspeed velocity of an unladen chihuahua |
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Yes, but was that an African or a European Chihuahua? |
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I think we need to use a spreadsheet to calculate issues of weight (in kilograms) on this particular subject. I use Open Office's "calc". Anyone else using this package? |
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Interesting aside. Miniature dogs are uniquely
sensitive to low concentrations of oxygen - more
so than canaries. (I don't mean that miniature
dogs are more sensitive to low oxygen than they
are to canaries; I mean that miniature dogs are
more sensitive than canaries to low oxygen.) |
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One of the greatest hazards in submarines, at
least up until the 1960s when better sensor
technology was developed, was a reduction in
oxygen concentration. Whereas a buildup of CO2
is very noticeable to humans (causing feelings of
breathlessness), reduced 02 concentration is
notoriously insidious, and a real risk during
prolonged stays underwater. For this reason, from
1927 to 1967, each submarine was issued with a
miniature dog, usually a chihuhua. From 1967,
they were no longer required, but the provision to
keep one on board was maintained until 1993.
They were trained to be quiet when ordered, and
the crew were issued with rather heartless but
necessary instructions to use "all means available"
to silence them if they barked when the
submarine was running silent. |
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"Transient! Transient! Chihuahua in the water, Sir!
Bearing zero-two-zero, depth one hundred twenty-
five metres!, Making turns for seventy-five knots in
its lead!" |
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75 knots? Must be running on highly-energetic turbo
Chihuahua uberpoo. |
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//I think we need to use a spreadsheet to calculate issues of weight (in kilograms) on this particular subject. I use Open Office's "calc". Anyone else using this package? |
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I'm still looking for the joke in that... |
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//75 knots? Must be running on highly-energetic turbo Chihuahua uberpoo. |
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Or is this some kind of sabot round for a rail-gun? |
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Begs the question of what exactly does happen to a Chihuahua went it reaches near c velocities? Even the smallest Chihuahua would reach the mass of gas giant... |
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Never mind the mass change. Will the little buggers
diffract? |
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At least the doppler shift will lower the note of the yapping to something below the range of human hearing, so it's an added bonus from that point of view. |
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