Chieftain II MBT

Introducing the Chieftain II, using the latest in British technology*.

Able to target object up to 3000 metres with the railgun and heavily impregnated iron-solution toasted sandwiches, ranging from the soft-target cheese to the armour piercing BLT, with a discarding sabot made of crumpets.

Other options include the area-denial barrage of pain au chocolat, and the toast cut into little squares, wrapped in tinfoil to act as chaff.

The other function of the tank is to feed the troops and rake in a little sponsorship. Heating elements above the tracks, and a hydraulic arrangement beneath the tank enable it to be raised so the tracks can move freely. Revving up the engine, bread is placed on the tracks and goes under the heater elements.

As an emergency measure, in rapid advances, there is no need to immobilise the tank, but troops would obviously only get one side done as the tank is advancing.

As for the sponsorship, as the troops across the battlefield screaming the regiment motto "I can't believe it's not butter" how the pennies will roll in.

* One guy in a flat cap, with cigarette permanently lodged in corner of mouth follows the tank around with a lump hammer to restart the 1908 diesel engine.

PS As of next month, it's back to work, so can I just delegate writing this kind of nonsense? Just something with very poor puns and cheese or something like that will do. Ta.