Cheaper Rockstar Lifestyle

I like rock music. I like Punk. Punk rock in fact. I wouldn't mind being in a band, but I'm completely tone deaf, I can't sing, and a left handed gibbon with no eyes could play an instrument better than me. But I would still like to live the lifestyle, trashing hotel rooms, throwing televisions out of windows, putting sportscars into swimming pools, smashing up guitars on a stage in front of loads of people, and punching reporters in the face. However, I can't afford to re-decorate rooms, to buy televisions, expensive cars or guitars, and I can't get on stage.

I propose a company that manufactures the shells of televisions, the plastic casing and glass screen, but none of the expensive inner workings, just a weight of some sort. This way they could be sold on the cheap, maybe for about £15, to anyone who wants to live like a rockstar. They could then be taken to special hotel rooms that have been decorated as cheaply as possible, in which you're allowed to destroy everything for a very cheap price (£150 per night?), and thrown out of the window, onto specific safe areas to avoid casualty.

Similarly, a sportscar could be made that is simply the bodywork on a set of wheels, sold for between £200 and £1000 depending on the car, and the swimming pool you could use could belong to a local rockstar. When he finds the car, he'll just think he got drunk and/or stoned the previous night and put it there himself.

As for guitars, again, just cheap plastic and weights. This guitar could be taken to a special nightclub, in which similar-minded self-styled rockstars will join you, loud music will be played, a stage will be supplied on which to smash your "guitar", with a microphone available for you to yell "Thank you Wisconsin! I'll be here all week!" into. There will be much crowd surfing, swearing, and general rockstarring around.

When you leave the club, find a media photographer, and punch them. It won't be a special photographer hired by the company wearing protection, it'll just be an actual photographer. Hell, they deserve it. And if you get a lawsuit, claim it was Liam Gallagher, not you. He doesn't need all that money. He's a real rockstar.