h a l f b a k e r yThere goes my teleportation concept.
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Mine removal robots and devices are expensive, often inefficient and frankly, not cute enough to be worth exploding violently.
I came across this product recently and felt, honestly, that if anything deserves to be blown into a thousand tiny pieces while making the world a safer (and less annoying
place) then these are it.
They are dubiously named the "Fantasic Puppy". They're small, about 18cm long, and when powered by 2 AA batteries (not included of course) they walk along making badly synthesised "yapping" noises before doing the occasional flip before starting off again.
Not only can they be sent off in their thousand across minefields at the low cost of $7.94 (RRP, Inc GST. I assume the military could buy cheaper and in bulk) for each unit, but I personally know of seventeen people that immediately come to mind who would pay to see thousands of these highly annoying items being blown to small fluffy motes.
Save the leg of a child, destroy a "Fantastic Puppy" today.
Fantastic Puppy
http://www.dse.com..../Product/View/Y2522
Sadly, no picture. [Freelancer, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
A picture
http://www.ec21.net...mg_020324143743.jpg
A bit small, though. [my face your, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
Landmine detecting weed
http://www.geeknews...rchives/002219.html
Plant detects elements used in explosives and changes color to indicate mines or explosives nearby [macrumpton, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
[link]
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It doesn't seem like it would weigh enough to activate a landmine, and it doesn't address more fundamental needs: identifying mines and demarcating mine-free zones. |
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Pay thousands of what, by the way? If you just want to make money by blowing up toys, you don't need to go to Southeast Asia. |
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True, they only weigh 300grams (without batteries) and a pair of AA batteries weighs about 40grams. |
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To make them heavier you could fit them with "saddlebags" of seed - when they blow up the seeds are scattered across the field and lay down crops that could, eventually, be harvested.
If you're edgy about the field and would prefer it marked out, you could fit them with saddlebags of paint instead, or seeds from nettles or poison ivy. |
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All prices are in Australian dollars by the way. |
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($1 AUD = approx. $0.00000000003 USD) |
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// I personally know of seventeen people // |
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You can make that eighteen ..... |
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Cant we somehow combine this with some of the laudable Furby destruction ideas ? |
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Strap furbies to the back of the fantastic puppies... |
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<dum dum dum> Furbies of the apocalypse </ddd> |
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Revelations (The secret hidden chapter, found in an abandoned Benedictine Monastary in the late 17th century): |
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-------------------------------- |
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1. Now I saw when [madradish] posted one of the unholy annotations, and I heard one of the 'bakery moderators say, as with typing of thunder, "Come!" |
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2. And I saw, and behold, a white 'Fantastic Puppy', and its rider was a Furby, screaming profanities as it rode. About it's neck was a bow; and a paper cracker-crown was given to him, and he went out swearing and to swear. |
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3. When [madradish] posted the second unholy annotation, I heard another of the 'bakery moderators type, "Come!" |
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4. And out came another 'Fantastic Puppy', bright red; its rider was permitted to take peace from the earth, so that 'bakers should slay one another; and it was a casually dressed Penguin, in a floral shirt. |
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5. When [madradish] posted the third unholy annotation, I heard another of the 'bakery moderators type, "Come!" And I saw, and behold, a black 'Fantastic Puppy', and its rider had a spherical fish-bowl in his hand; |
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6. and I heard what seemed to be a voice in the midst of the moderators saying, "If the fish swims to one side of the sphere, it has merely displaced water that was already there. There is no change in weight or pressure, nothing to cause motion. The motion of the fish swimming is offset by the movement of the water away from it as it swims." |
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7. When [madradish] posted the fourth unholy annotation, I heard another of the 'bakery moderators type, "Come!" |
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8. And I saw, and behold, a pale 'Fantastic Puppy', and its rider's name was UnaBubba, and 8th of 7 followed him; and they were given power over a fourth of the earth, to destroy with sarcasm and with wit and with annotation and by wild Furbies of the ocean. |
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---------------------------------- |
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From there on in the writing becomes shaken and illegible, and there are scorch marks where it appears as if the author has tried to burn the document. |
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And thus I release the penguin... |
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..saving UB and 8th for a special occasion |
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if i remember correctly at the height of the UK Mad Cow scare, Cambodia actually suggested to the UK to send over all its mad cows instead of incinerating them. Purpose? Minefield clearing... |
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UnaFurba. Comes with pre-recorded invective to obviate necessity for sabotage. |
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didn't Lucasarts do something similar in 'Full Throttle'? too long since i played to be sure.
unfortunately, blowshitup.com no longer exists as that would have been a perfect place to display the results of this. by the way, here's the nineteenth. + |
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Yeah, and millions of chickens were just executed in Greater Vancouver for fears of contamination with Avian Flu. |
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Now commercial chickens can't fly, but if we simply paradropped clusters of them over affected regions and simply let them scatter, we'd be, pardon the pun, killing two [million] birds with one stone. |
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Plus, an exploding chicken is much more humorous than an exploding cow. |
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I hate furbies. They are annoying. I have never heard of fantastic puppy before, but if it's like a furby, kill it. |
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//didn't Lucasarts do something similar in 'Full Throttle'? too long since i played to be sure.// [stilgar] |
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You are correct. The hero used a box of battery powered bunnies to clear a path through the minefield. |
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Now you've done it, you guys!! |
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You have roused the demon from slumber. |
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Try read Terry pratchett's/Neil Gamen's co-authored book "Good Omens". |
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It's got some funny "riders of the apocalypse" stuff. |
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