h a l f b a k e r y"Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
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On our mass transit buses the bus driver is supposed to
announce all major thoroughfares and points of interest.
The problem is you can't ever understand a word they are
saying. It comes out as mumbo-jumbo. If it were
organized mumbling that would be different. But it's not.
It's always "mmhhhhh
dmmhhhh a mmmoooohhhh mm".
Or
something equally as meaningless to us all. We all just
look
at one another and shake our heads and shrug our
shoulders.
So I say why waste a good microphone and sound
system.
Instead of mumbling the driver could start a low
"Ommm"
chant. If he wanted he could throw in a little "Shiva
shiva" in there, just to shake things up and keep em
interesting. If you didn't want to chant you wouldn't
have
to. Just put your earphones back on, and listen to your
ipod like everyone does anyway.
But for those of us who would like to, we could chant.
Ommmmmmm...
Did I mention the bus driver could be called the
Om-nibusman? Well he could.
Gamelan
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gamelan
Give it a bash ... [8th of 7, Nov 17 2009]
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Getting through the crowd would be easier as well. |
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Ohmm, ohmanipardonmemumpardonme... |
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Would you ever arrive at your destination, or just travel the road again and again until you achieved Enlightenment ? |
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All that ommmming would raise the state of the bus
engine to a beautiful purr of motion tranquility. |
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I almost thought this was going to be an idea to make the interaction of the wheels of the bus and the road itself announce the stops, just like that William Tell overture road. |
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However a chanting bus, as a communal activity, sounds good to me. Could there be additional percussion instruments to play? Additional that is to the bell to request the bus to stop. |
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Hmmm, that bell. I forgot about the bell. Yes,
someone could ting the bell to start the chant and
end it. And perhaps a little cymbal every now and
again, for impact. Like right after someone cuts the
bus off, and nearly collides with it. Nice additions.
Thanks Mr. Aristotle. |
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// additional percussion instruments // |
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The ceiling of this bus is a massive planar speaker membrane of laminated polyester film wired to a 100,000 watt amplifier. When optimum room/cabin resonance is achieved by the occupant's chanted chorus this system is triggered into feedback thus creating an orgiastic state of mass transcendence. Mass transituent bliss. |
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Transit officials and city council members are suddenly overwhelmed with glossy-eyed demand.
Inevitably, the notion is adapted to shopping malls, sporting events, and political rallies. |
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And you thought the world couldn't get any creepier. |
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Creepy, creepy, how dare you call me creepy...you
creep! Just kidding. You can call me creepy, if you
want. |
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A gamelan is petty good but could take up quite a bit of passenger space. Prehaps dangling handgrips, where they are available, could have bells on? |
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I *do* have heard something pretty similar to the Mormon
Tabernacle Choir coming from the inner guts of an old GMC
truck passing by. I think it was the motor shaft in
arrangement with the wheel differential. And the muffler
in the continuo bass line. |
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[8th_of_7] YES!
The Wheels On The Bus Goes Bish Boom Bang... |
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In an airplane you can join the chant. "do not fall like a rockmmmmm. do not hit anythingmmmm. don't be late to the gatemmmm" |
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