h a l f b a k e r yIt might be better to just get another gerbil.
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The only reason i won't have my bits snipped off is that someone else wants to use them. Also, it is of course impossible to change gender and i regard gender reassignment surgery as a nice little money-spinner. Anyway, it seems a shame to put the organs one used to have in the hospital incinerator
when they could, for once, be enjoyed rather than being considered horrible growths on one's body as they will have been in one's life up to that point. Clearly some of them will be high in the offending hormones and probably should be dispensed with, but regarding the uterus, fallopian tubes, breasts and penis (most of it), they're fairly innocent and one of them would make a good sausage. Therefore, i propose that gender reassignment surgery be followed by a therapeutic meal where one eats the less hormonal bits of one's own former reproductive system. Either that or dip them in liquid nitrogen and smash them with a hammer - get all that frustration out in one go. I suppose i might be prevailed upon to have mine pickled and used as a dildo if a certain person was really nice to me.
A man can dream, can't he?
IGBT
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/IGBT
Sadly, much less salacious than you anticipated. [8th of 7, Aug 28 2013]
Bifet, Albert
http://albertbifet.com/
who is almost certainly trying to work out why he gets so many hits from halfbakery.com [not_morrison_rm, Aug 29 2013]
[link]
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Utter, utter, utter madness. |
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Imagining scenarios in which you consume your own
genitals, might, in some circles at least, be considered
unusual. |
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You needn't eat them. You could just smash them up
with hammers, eliciting a resounding tinkle. What
really bothers me is that the women get a bigger
meal. |
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// i might be prevailed upon to have mine pickled//
That is very, very odd. How long have you had
difficulty in sustaining a capital "I" ? |
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Cannibalism is illegal in most countries that bother with
laws; I wonder what John Law's take is on eating your own
flesh. |
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I'm pretty sure autophagy is legal. Were it not,
nailbiting would be illegal, as would sticking your cut
finger in your mouth. |
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So too would losing weight through exercise, and emaciating yourself through not eating. |
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//impossible to change gender |
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Well, legally speaking it's very easy....but it is a bit pot-luck for those in the Uk. |
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If for example, you are from the UK, and you scoot off to Hungary, then all you need is one psychiatrist's letter. If you scooted off to Thailand, then you're in for a real document fest. |
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// it is a bit pot-luck for those in the Uk.// I hope
that pun was intended. |
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Literally eat your own cock -- makes it to the HB. Banner week, this and the one about covering uglies with bags with pix of pretty people. Makes one long for the days of vagina jam. If offensive at least be entertaining. |
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With some exercise and practice; maybe you can taste your parts before go ahead. |
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Although I realize if I were a tad more philanthropic about it, my good bits would feed a family of six for a week... |
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I'm just not going to read this! |
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OK, thanks for all that. [MB], why would i want an
organ i don't even want to have to be any bigger
than it currently is? Although, you do make me
wonder if there's a connection between the
lowercase personal pronoun and the whole issue. |
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// //impossible to change gender |
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Well, legally speaking it's very easy // |
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Whereas there is a legal fiction (is that the right
term?) which allows people to be declared as
belonging to a different gender, it is in fact
impossible, is it not? Since it would involve having
been perceived predominantly as of a different
gender in the past than one was in fact perceived.
So at the very least a massive conspiracy and a
time machine would be required. |
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[NotationToby], definitely engorged, good point. |
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Yes, i realise this is more about my own catharsis
than anything else, so i suppose that might make
it advocacy. |
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// why would i want an organ i don't even want to
have to be any bigger than it currently is?// |
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Have you considered an online auction? I'm not
sure
that eBay would allow the necessary seller's
pictures, but I'm fairly certain that out of 7 billion
people, there ought to be at least one or two
willing
to, ah, stump up. Even I'd bid on it, if only as a
novelty for my cabinet of curiosities. |
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[EDIT] A quick check on eBay suggests that you
have a clear field as far as used genuine penii go. |
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//Since it would involve having been perceived predominantly as of a different gender in the past than one was in fact perceived. |
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Sighs. To be honest it's not quite like that, in the modern world, it's an internal opinion thing and so not based on external opinions. |
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Consider it like the old apartheid system "In 1984, 795 people were re-classified. Of these, 518 went from Coloured to White; two Whites became Chinese and one became Indian; 89 Black Africans became Coloured, and 5 Coloured people became African (Ormond, 1986).", but different. |
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Incidentally, [nineteenthly] - if you're considering
dispensing with any other parts, I'd be happy to
make you an offer for the lot. I currently have a
human finger bone, but that is a sad token as a
representative of the dominant species on Earth.
Would you consider parting with a complete finger?
Or possibly an ear? |
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// I currently have a human finger bone, |
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Only the one? Must make typing pretty awkward. |
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I have voted for this idea, though I do not know why. I think that it must be because I like the idea - or at least the image - of someone smashing their frozen (removed) penis with a large hammer, shards of bellend skittering and ricocheting across the white-tiled room, cleaning operative behind the two-way mirror trying to track where the meat slid off to, not wanting to miss collecting a shard, only to have the next nobsmasher having her resolve tested by sight of a pink, fleshy strip tucked in beside the table leg, plus if he doesn't collect them all, how can he complete his 3D penis jigsaw. (Actually, there's a thought - the more regularly shaped sections could be collected, plastinated and used in a literal game of dick jenga.) BUT ANYWAY, the idea seems to me to focus on the thing as a thing, rather than as a thing as an emblem of disjunt between the transperson's gender and their physical form and this is why it doens't ring true to me. I don't know - but would be interested to know - whether a transperson would have negative feelings towards their birthgenitals, or whether they would not care much, following the completion of transition. What matter a balls, when your body and your brain are no longer in conflict? |
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//I have voted for this idea, though I do not know
why// |
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Probably because you wish to see the systematic
undoing of the website formerly known as the
Halfbakery. Sure, I've wanted to partake of my own
genitals from time to time (I mean, who hasn't?), but
this is hardly the forum for discussing that fact.
Unless you could come up with, you know, some
clever invention that aids in doing so, like something
that doubles you up into some odd position where
your dong is sliced off and dropped immediately into
your mouth. I'd totally bun that. Maybe. |
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//Probably because you wish to see the systematic undoing of the website formerly known as the Halfbakery. |
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//where your dong is sliced off |
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Erm, that's not what happens for...the core material is tossed, however the skin is retained. You can even get the super-duper package includes part of (presumably) your own colon relocated. That's internally, not to Hawaii or something. |
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The fact that you are able to provide such a detailed response is deeply disquieting. |
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We have added this idea to the list of "Ideas we were doubtful about looking at in the first place and in retrospect deeply regret reading". |
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I suspect that main reason for general anaesthesia in surgery is to prevent the patient finding out what exactly surgeons do, as we'd never go anywhere near a hospital. |
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To answer your question about how the gender dysphoric view their genitals, i'm unlikely ever to have the op although i have made a list of five very specific circumstances in which i would, all quite improbable except for one, which is [grayure]'s death. Right now, i see my genitals in a similar way to how i imagine someone sees a massive cyst or disfiguring wart on a public part of their face, or maybe a disfiguring birthmark, with the added feeling that they're like tumours and are producing chemicals i don't want in my body which feel like they're poisoning me or making me ill. I also think there's a possibility that pouring all these negative feelings into them is not good for my health, mental or physical, generally. By contrast i find my rather tiny breasts sweet, almost like babies or maybe hamsters. I think i would opt for the smashing with a hammer, and if i ever do get to the other side i won't feel that the alteration is more than cosmetic, so the added opportunity of attacking them physically at a time when they're no longer a threat to me if i damage them would really hit the spot, i think. In fact, i'll extend the idea to tumour and other lesion destruction. Would you pass up the opportunity to smash up a frozen formerly life-threatening carcinoma? I wouldn't. Quite similar idea. |
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I take it, then, that [grayure] is attached to your
current set of genitals more than you are? |
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can't you just treat it like an historical treasure? |
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//opportunity of attacking them physically at a time when they're no longer a threat to me |
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Or more importantly, not attached to your body by nerves. |
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It does seem frankly unsporting to attack them while they are still groggy from the anaesthesia, I suggest give them an hour's head-start, then release the hounds. |
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They dock lambs' tails by placing a rubber band
around the base, and this causes little or no
distress, if that helps. Apparently investment
bankers' social consciences are removed in the same
way. |
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I've decided to come out, I'm part of the BLT community. |
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Ok, that's a lie, I am part of the LGBT community. |
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</end of tedious personal revelation> |
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//or dip them in liquid nitrogen and smash them with a hammer// |
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If the genetalian hydrogen were extracted, spin polarised in a magnetic trap, and super-cooled to a BEC state then perhaps Super-flaccidity could be achieved. |
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Go away, will you ? Or would you prefer internal haemorraghing ? |
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Lettuce, bacon, tomato, and ... which foodstuff does the "G" denote ? Our guess is "Garlic". |
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What, you don't like pastrami ? |
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On balance, BLT plays the larger part in my life. |
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Are you gonna finish that? |
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// Go away, will you ? Or would you prefer internal haemorraghing ? // |
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Are you talking to me [8th of 7] ? |
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No, thank goodness. I smell Ogre sometimes but not very often. |
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What exactly does Ogre smell like ? We bet
there's a hint of frenchness about it … |
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If you're a member of the IGBT community
<link>, does that mean you're Bi-FET curious
? |
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<bell in abandoned adobe church clangs in
wind>
What exactly does Ogre smell like ? We bet
there's a hint of frenchness about it … |
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If you're a member of the IGBT community
<link>, does that mean you're Bi-FET curious
? |
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<bell in abandoned adobe church clangs in
wind>What exactly does Ogre smell like ? We
bet there's a hint of frenchness about it … |
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If you're a member of the IGBT community
<link>, does that mean you're Bi-FET curious
? |
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<bell in abandoned adobe church clangs in
wind> |
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Can somebody reboot the Borg? Their cut-and-paste
function is broken. |
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CURRENT DRIVE IS NO LONGER VALID> |
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CANNOT LOAD COMMAND, SYSTEM HALTED |
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Please insert DOS disk in drive A: and strike
any key. |
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Suspects a duff adobe plug-in. Or Windows 8. Or just gone chucking out time at the pub? |
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My understanding is that the Borg are running a DOS
emulator under OSX. |
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It's weird, this morning I got an email "I am a Borg princess, I have xxxx interstellar credits...just send me the location of your brain"... |
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Wasn't us. Our communications tend to be a bit less polite ... |
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Yes, more usually of the ballistic persuasion. |
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Did take a peek at bi-FET and predictably there is an Albert Bifet (linky). |
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I claim first dibs on rule 35, that there is no electrical component so obscure that it doesn't turn up as a person's name. |
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"TPaH3NCTOP" (that's the closest I can get to Cyrillic)
was the thirteenth most popular name
for girls (and the 28th most popular for boys) in
Ukraine in 1971. |
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I can't find the Any button. |
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"Keyboard error or no keyboard present. Press F1 to continue." |
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"error: apt-get: command not found. To install apt type: apt-get install apt." |
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//that's the closest I can get to Cyrillic |
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I have a specially built very thin keyboard, so I can get closer than that. |
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Grr, after spending 4 minutes trying to make it into a Russian name...BTW male and female formal names have different endings, female ones end in vowels...it's just nicknames that all seem to end in "a". |
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//"TPaH3NCTOP"// and their sibling "5haurTs4oRz" |
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An interesting thread, and an unfortunate return to the
past disgustion of eating one's own engorged blood
sausage pudding that was a topic of HB ethics in
yesteryears. It reminds of atleast one case in Germany
from a few years ago where a cannibal solicited to
murder and eat another person who he met online. The
two men had sex, and before killing the penis was
removed from the butchered man, and they both fed
upon it, but decided it was inedible. The posted idea
suggests something closer on the spectrum to legality,
and sort of an expression of personal freedom despite
what most people would consider to be obscene. The
discussion highlights a few important contemporary
political areas including LGBT, Russia, aparthied etc. Of
course, aparthied took place in an extremely 'sign'
sensitive political discourse of nuanced calvinist
protestantism found mostly in south africa, the southern
united states, and Northern Ireland, and elsewhere in
british colonies where this is considered a loyalism. This
turns into an issue of semiotic hermeneutics that has
been topical in 'The Worlds Easiest Gameshow', and my
own idea to infliltrate the fanbase of Ace of Base using
machinegunnery; firing to refrains of 'sign sign
everywhere a sign' by Five man electrical Band. Those
two songs placed on a line illustate the political
spectrum of the ideologies being dealt with. The
simplest distinction is a closer odering of the world
based on right and wrong, based on some sort of
positivism that indicates a natural ordering of such a
system. However 'signs' tend to encompass everything
including social constructs. Believe it or not this has
been the central theme of Western social movements
since aparthied and the 60s. It's an interesting problem
because in a general sense significance of signifiers is
played down in the 'protestant' public realm, but is still
very significant in Catholic institutions. However, public
or protestant institutions, are actually instead pragmatic
secular institutions that are more obsessed with
functionalism, and the basic industrial idea of
protestantism, so people are rather disciplined for
violating rules meant for social harmony and working-
together (such as hate crimes against gays and blacks)
rather than fostering a spirit of internal conflict between
important signifiers, as has been the relationship
between Russia and the West. Russia producing
significance that creates conflict (a homophobia?)
between heterosexuals and homosexuals domestically,
and between worldviews. Because homosexuals are a
self-limited number, unless a social movement gets
larger numbers of people to embrace homosexuality, the
conflict is largely self-limited, and a small portion of
society has to live with hiding the shame of indecency.
And Vladimir Putins everywhere in russia can strike their
chests and say how easily they crushed gays revolution.
Afterall, there still has to be a disciplinary society of
right and wrong, like a game show, but it simply has to
appeal to something taken as that highest order of
significance. |
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Any chance of a few paragraph breaks? |
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It's not really a structured form of writing, it's more like
stream of consciousness. Really the point is about the
ephemeral significance that underlies difference. |
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Ah, OK. As long as it wasn't meant to be read or
anything. |
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Anyway, haven't we drifted a bit off the original
topic of [19thly] eating his own bollocks? |
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