h a l f b a k e r yContrary to popular belief
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Censorship Contact Lenses
All children wear contact lenses. The television puts a screen over itself that makes it so that the children can't see when bad stuff appears | |
You can polarize lenses so that when you look through one lens perfectly fine, but when two lenses are lined up so that the sheets of molecules are perpendicular it blocks all (or at least almost all) light.
All children will go around with contact lenses polarized in per se' a vertical orientation.
Televisions will have a similarly oriented lens over them. Normally, everyone will be able to see the television, but right before questionable content (as determined via the broadcaster) appears on the screen, the lens of the television is rotated 90 degrees. This makes it so that the children will not be able to see the screen, but adults will be.
There are multiple signals that are capable of initiating this effect. One option is to splice on a code in the closed captioning so that the television recognizes it. People have often rigged up devices to scan closed captioning and alter the television accordingly. For instance, one device made mutes the television when certain celebrities are named.
The device that rotates the screen also wouldn't be terribly original. Many digital watches use a similar technique for their display.
The beauty of the idea is the subtlety. There would be little to nothing to suggest that they are the only people experiencing this effect and, in theory, they wouldn't probably be paying much attention to it anyway. Also, the children would always be able to see anything other than the television perectly well, to contrast with the pitch darkness provided by the hand-over-the-eyes technique.
This idea would solve the biggest of parental problems. There would be no more 'the child walks in just as they're doing a tridectomy on a corpse' or 'a grisly murder takes place suddenly and unexpectedly and you rush to cover your child's eyes'. Obviously, some people have different beliefs on what their children are allowed to see. The device in question could have a level threshold at which it would block the screen and, of course, it could just not be used. Regardless, I think this would be effective and amusing.
A different use for polarized lenses.
http://www.youtube....edded&v=MgN4r1YufcI
It could work for the same thing, right? Maybe? [BC, Dec 02 2011]
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Annotation:
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I'll give this a bun for unneccesary over-complication, even
though there are much simpler methods of accomplishing
the same goal that are already baked. |
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Could the kids just tilt their heads sideways when the
censored parts occur? |
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Maybe we could implement this in places where actual awful things were happening..... |
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-swimswim.
Yes, I suppose. They'd have to have their heads parallel with the ground to do that, but they could. I don't know if they'd figure it out, though. |
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[wcw] wasnt that in HHGTTG? |
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Daddy performs an accidental tridectomy on little Jimmy while trying to apply his contact lenses. |
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"Quick! Hide Suzy's eyes!... under the sink!" |
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Also, this idea is so ideologically alien to me that I can't even summon a reasonable rebuttal of it, on merit, or on any other level. This is the epitome of bad parenting, intellectual laziness and a sick desire to enforce the bitter rule of medocracy. Nobody should have to right to literally control what their children can see, it is a brutal denial of their basic liberty and humanity. |
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You are very lucky if this is "... the biggest of parental problems". |
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You could use a 3D TV to make this idea more practical. The adult scenes would have have a masking signal played on the left eye channel. The 3D glasses would filter out the masking signal for the adults wearing them. This way, kids get to watch the TV without glasses or contact lenses. |
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-WcW; I don't know about this being the epitome of bad parenting. It certaintly would be lazy and a tad ridiculous. I think if you impose anything upon your child you should do so upon yourself too. But, frankly, a parent has the right to limit what their children see and hear. I definitely believe that everything influences children. And adults. I've found that when I listen to music that has more negative views on life I become more cynical, for example. Children have not yet learned how they want themselves to be. I think that's the crux of the situation in my opinion. I would like to teach my child to think about things before anything else. Taking your child with you to church, per se', is infringing insanely upon their freedom of religion.
-xaviergisz; Lol. Yeah, that's definitely true. I'll try not to blow anything out of proportion on my next half-pastry. |
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How about a fixed lens system, and some means of
rotating the children 90°? |
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//some means of rotating the children 90°?//
baked -- it's called a couch. |
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I don't think contact lenses are in much danger of rotating anyway. There are all sorts of "design" contact lenses like crosses in your eyes that appear to always remain vertical. I think it is just a matter of the lenses shape. |
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