h a l f b a k e r yKeep out of reach of children.
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There is a seemingly insatiable appetite for mass-market products related to celebrities.
One can already (apparently) purchase candles in the form of Leonardo Di Caprio, Ozzy Osbourne, or (heaven help us) Kylie Minogue. Or so I am unreliably informed.
I propose that a new form of Celebrity
Aroma Candle is created to satisfy the demands of the fans. Not only can you have an image of your favourite star to literally light up your life, but it smells of them, too.....
Here's how it works. A tiny sample of adipose tissue is extracted from the releven Celeb by needle biopsy. This is a rapid and (sadly) almost pain-free process.
The sample is analysed by GC-MS and FT-IR techniques to generate a molecular "fingerprint". The molecules in the sample are then sysnthesised from feedstocks by existing biochemical processes; traces of the Celeb's sweat etc. might be blended in.
The resuting "scent" is blended in with standard wax or indeed highly purified dripping, tallow or beeswax and dipped or cast into shaped candles which are then sold to the gullible and credulous for huge amounts of profit.
(Idea ispired by a cow-orker's comment).
Dilbert
http://www.dilbert.com
See "Dogbert's New Ruling Class" for definitions of Induhviduals and Cow-orkers [8th of 7, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
Orking
http://www.monkeon.co.uk/orking/
"v. The act of taking a photograph with the animal's nose too close to the lens" [my face your, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Kevin Bacon Aroma Candles
http://www.hottrails.com/htorder.html
Second from bottom. [waugsqueke, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
[link]
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I may be wrong here, but don't people smell partly of the chemicals they have inflicted upon themselves in their past. I will never smell like my wife because I haven't doused myself in perfume like she has in her past. |
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I have a dreadful feeling that candles giving off a celebrity's native sweat without any appropriate perfumery would simply smell like burning feet. |
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If the customers are so gullible and credulous, why bother with all the lab work? Most likely all the candles could smell like the nearest crack addict, or Dionne Warwick, or Macaulay Culkin, or some such, and you'd still sell just as many. |
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Changes colour as you watch ? |
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I'v always thought there was something odd about getting an effigy of someone you admire and setting fire to a bit of string coming out of the top of their head. |
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It's all the bits hanging off it that I wouldn't want to see. |
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Don't look in the mirror, then .... |
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NB in the interets of public decency (I think we will take it as read that this idea offends against good taste), I wish to make it clear that the celebrities will be depicted fully clothed in their normal day attire, and definitely not in a state of nudity for the amusement of the hordes of drool-spattered salacious perverts who seem to infest the HalfBakery (you know who you are). |
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[8th] - I wasn't thinking about nude statues, I was thinking about Michael Jackson, and noses, babies and so on... |
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Like people would know the difference. "Hey, this doesn't smell anything like Britney Spears..." |
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// I'd smell [thumbs] melting wax//
*Blushes* |
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Pass me my Parker Posey candle and my drool cup, please. |
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