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Viewing figures for the English sport 'Darts' is at an all time low and Jim Bowen is nowhere to be seen! It's time to reverse this ugly state of affairs with 'Ceiling Darts' - an enhanced version of Darts played vertically, rather than horizontally.
The dartboard would be mounted on the ceiling,
facing downwards. The darts player would throw the darts upwards towards the board and would try to get the highest score as possible, much in the same way as normal darts. Due to the risk of the darts falling back down and causing injury, hard hats would have to be worn by the players. The audience would be kept well back from the playing area. The game can be made harder for the real experts by playing in arenas with Higher Ceilings. To add even more life to this ehanced version of Darts, Jim Bowen could be made compulsory Referee.
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A helmet doesn't do much good for your face. Especially if you are looking straight up at the dartboard. Ouch. |
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I think for most darts players, due to their alcohol consumption, "floor darts" would be more appropriate.
The players (all large, sweaty men) are hoisted up by crane to a height of twenty feet, and the darts simply drop from their hands on to a large dartboard beneath them.
Dolly birds should walk around in evening gowns holding up the scores on bits of white card.
Just wondering, do Americans know what darts is like in England? For your information, and I'm not making this up, the finals are held in a large pub (called the Lakeside) which is full of drunken shouting women.| — | Jim,
Aug 09 2000, last modified Aug 10 2000 |
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I like it. Can be done while watching TV in your bedroom. Don't need helmet, just goggles. You should be able to dodge most of the darts that miss and come back at you. If not, you should be penalized. Maybe wear a target mask with scores and opponent gets the points. (Well, you do too...don't you?) |
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Many were the hours spent in ye olde college coffee shop, perfecting the art of blowing frill pix (those stupid things that come in your sandwich sometimes) through a drinking straw at acoustical ceiling tiles. I think there was some system of scoring based on the color of the frills. |
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It took about a year of jukebox noise vibration for them to start falling back down, at which point we posted a "hard hat zone" warning and moved to another booth. |
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So you have darts sticking in your face *and* you get penalized? Not sure about that, [melanerpes]. |
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I like the idea, [ccaamgw], but I think the throwers would have to get out of the way--goggles and helmets wouldn't do a whole lot of good, IMO. |
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