h a l f b a k e r yI CAN HAZ CROISSANTZ?
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Secure, reliable delivery of messages between continents using the natural migratory instincts of Canadian geese. Technically they aren't really 'our' geese. They are their own geese but we take credit for them anyway.
-They need no training.
-They are not restricted to one-way communication.
-They
will work for peanuts.
-They are slower than snail-mail but they will never go postal.
Selfish self promotion
United_20Airline_27..._2c_20Goose-be-gone
[blissmiss, Sep 23 2012]
[link]
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You've never been charged by a hissing goose before. |
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My understanding is that they'd carry the mail for
free. |
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I was under the impression they had bills. |
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I'm sorry, I don't do impressions. |
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Maybe carrier geese could carry carrier pigeons that could do local deliveries. |
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Shirley swallows would be better? |
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Just to be pedantic, there's no such thing as a
Canadian Goose. |
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Canada Geese, on the other hand, would not work all
that well, since if you feed them peanuts they'll
stop migrating. |
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// Shirley swallows would be better? // |
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Better than if she spits, certainly. |
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Swallows? She was gosling! |
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Are geese strong enough to transport
coconuts? If so, this would answer some very
important questions. |
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Presumably the other geese would be decoys - after all you'd only need two to actually carry the coconut, using a standard creeper held under the dorsal guiding feathers. |
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If they aren't trained, what happens when Goose 1 arrives incontinent? |
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Would that be considered Mallard
Aforethought? |
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No, stop right there; you're not going to tern this into a
Python take-off. |
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Just for the record, it's 20-30 mph, but with a good
tailwind they can apparently hit 50-55. |
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Reliably reported to be extinct. |
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//airspeed ... good tailwind// |
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Can you explain how a tailwind affects the airspeed? Thanks. |
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It doesn't. My figures are for groundspeed. Sorry about
that. |
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// Can you explain how a tailwind affects the airspeed? // |
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Easy. Geese get bored while flying and don't normally have much incentive to exert themselves, but when it looks like they are going faster for the same amount of effort, they are encouraged to exert themselves more. This same instinct works in the opposite way to prevent them from wasting their energy when there is a strong headwind. In that case they will often just land and wait for more favorable winds. |
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Note: I said I could explain it. I didn't say that the explanation had any basis in fact. |
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In strong winds, microlights have been
observed to make 3-point landings with zero
airspeed, or in one alarming case moving
backwards at walking pace … |
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[Scad mientist] is close, but not quite correct. Geese fly faster in a tailwind because they are constantly honking while they are flying. With a tailwind, the sound is pushed forwards and they think that there are more geese in front of them somewhere, so they fly faster to catch up with the other "geese". |
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So, if messages carried include a soundchip of geese honking, delivery will be faster? |
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