h a l f b a k e r y"Put it on a plate, son. You'll enjoy it more."
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When you drive into the car wash you come to a halt beside a panel of buttons which displays a variety of music. Make your selection and then the show begins.
Let's assume that you're wanting to psyche yourself up for a big day at work, and you select Beethoven's 5th. You wait through a few seconds
of silent anticipation, then at the first...
DA DA DA daaaa
a wall of blue water sprays up from your right side....
DA DA DA daaaaaa
a wall of red water sprays up from your left side....
DA DA DA DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
the music takes off and your car is washed in a symphony of lighted water and music (created by beams of light similar to fountain displays). You exit and start your day inspired.
Or perhaps you would prefer to unwind on the way home with your favourite easy listening piece. The kids could be catered for with songs such as "Splish Splash I was taking a Bath".
Other selections may include "Someone Left My Cake Out in the Rain" and "A Little bit of Soap Will Never Wash Away My Tears".
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Annotation:
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Raindrops keep fallin' on my head |
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It Ain't Gonna Rain no more |
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Excellent idea, helium! And your first choice of music really does give it some wonderful snap.
Dirty Love (zappa)
I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles
Lawrence Welk Show theme
Can't Touch This (for the brushless washes)
Here Comes the Rain Again (eurythmics) |
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Wipe Out! (or any Dick Dale)
BTW: Didn't K-Tel release a "car wash" album once upon a time? |
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I once went to the house just outside of Vienna where Beethoven supposedly got the inspiration for the 5th symphony theme (actually more of a motive, but I'd have been misunderstood if I'd used "motive" in place of "theme"). Anyway, I knocked on the door. To me, it just sounded like my knuckles on a wooden door. Of course, they may have replaced the door since the 1800s. |
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I like those colo(u)red lights - there are a few spectacular fountains around here in plein aire, none in car washes. Croissant bathed in a rainbow of colo(u)rs. |
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rather than a team of car washers sqeaking out music on your car & windscreen with sponges and squeegies |
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Don Ho's "Tiny Bubbles." Wash your car with Champagne! |
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[techno] You're right, much preferable to those hairy armpits plastered on my windscreen. The only problem is they still pounce on my car regardless if I'm fresh out of the car wash. |
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there is a hotel in Stockholm, (hold ON..) the lift in which
has a second row of buttons alongside the more normal
floor buttons. These are labelled with different styles of
music and, yes, you get to set the mood..... |
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too small for cars tho'....and too dry |
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Can they set up a Transmitter for you to dial your AM radio into? I mean legally? Car wash music needs to be Lo-Fi. |
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thumbwax, I don't think AM radio would work - I know I have to push my vehicle's antenna all the way down before I let the big belt take me away, so AM reception would be pretty sketchy. Low-power FM would deliver the Lo-Fi result your are looking for if you were to use a suitably cheesy source recording. |
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Let me see, bagel, pastry, muffin, aha! here it is - croissant for you, Helium. (And please do something about that squeaky voice). |
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My preferred selection? After the Rain (Lee Oskar) |
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...(continued from above), the joke therein being evident only to those who know that Beethoven reportedly claimed that the inspiration for the four note motive came shortly after he had learned that he was going deaf, and his landlord's knock sounded to him like "the knock of fate on the door." |
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Yeah, I got that one, [bx]; didn't you see me grinning? |
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"It's Raining Men" for the dance fanantic
"Purple Rain" for the foamy wax spray stuff, or more colored lights. |
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Handel's Water Music, of course. (All that's missing are the marionettes.) |
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A croissant right back at you, helium-with-a-double-underscore, for your water- and sound-enhanced car wash, akin, but less rude, than my talking urinal... |
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I once thought of opening a Psychedelic Car Wash. Features would include:
-Disco balls and laser art (like at bowling alleys)
-Coloured lights and funkily dressed car wash attendants
-Black light for when the soap suds cover the car (everything white will look neon blue or green)
-A turning platform for the car to spin around on as it dries, instead of just driving slowly through the hot air dryers
-and of course fucky 70's music |
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Another place that would benefit from 'Ride of the Valkries.' |
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Baked. It's called a "Car Radio"... |
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Listen to CBC Radio 2 if you like, if you live in Canada. |
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CBC Radio 2 pipe songs transmitted from Canadien Car Washes into cars already? Who'da thunk it. Not. |
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