Capitalistic Restraint Awards

An annual event honoring three corporate leaders who have, by their direct power and by their influence on their companies' cultures, set a standard for "80% Capitalism". This is an approach to business wherein one pursues traditional capitalist goals - maximize profits, maximize growth, etc - but stops short of selling one's soul and raping the countryside to get there.

Winners would be those leaders who do things like: give their employees a bit more time off, pay a bit more to keep their labor force local, have larger than average philanthropy programs, build beautiful buildings rather than cheap ones, share profits a bit more equitably between executives and the rest of the labor force, refuse customers who are obviously going to create massive headaches for their staff, don't drive BMWs with vanity plates, take time to study where their waste products go, provide good benefits to their employees, donate used equipment to local schools, pay for employees to volunteer in their community, volunteer in their community themselves, throw birthday parties for the janitors, don't tell lies to their investors, don't believe so firmly in cost-benefit analyses that place a dollar value on human suffering, genuinely want their customers to be happy, occasionally let themselves be seen slacking, stock their lunchrooms with pinball machines.

Each award would be a gold statuette of Larry Fucking Ellison's bleeding, severed head.