Canon Canning

I'm a soda junkie. Can't get enough Coke and RC cola. I love the sight of neat, orderly, uniform rows of soda cans lining my refrigerator shelves. Like an army of goodness... ah.

But wait! Despite my best efforts, they cannot possibly be aligned in a perfectly uniform formation! Oh sure, the Soldiers of Sweet wear identical uniforms, but to get the designs on the cans to line up just right, the drinking spouts all point different ways! I cannot have my Contingents of Coke and RC Regiments lollygagging about, facing every which way and chatting with one another in complete disregard of the Uniform Code of Confectionary Justice!

Yet my only other alternative is to have their uniforms out of alignment, because they come out of the canning factory looking as if they dressed in the dark! Every spout points a different direction in relation to the logos on the can... WHY!!!???

For a nominal fee, I would be willing to order cases of perfectly, uniformly aligned soda cans, with the spouts pointed straight at the center of the company logo on the front of the can, shipped straight from the factory to my doorstep. With factory-direct prices, it would probably still be cheaper than retail, too. Come on... I know I'm not alone here.