h a l f b a k e r yIf you need to ask, you can't afford it.
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Every office has a Carl. *Everyone* knows Carl. *Everyone* knows the details about Carl's last trip to Cheboygan, and how much misery he suffered because of his allergies to milk. *Everyone* knows how Carl's brother-in-law keeps borrowing the family car and not filling it with gas. *Everyone* is
kept abrest of the intimate details of Carl's battle with toe fungus.
*Everyone* secretly despises Carl.
For sufferers of the curse of Carl, there is hope. Stuffed with shredded forms from accounting, the 'Scare-Carl' is arranged to look the same size and shape as your boss in his style of officewear. The use of your boss's aftershave is also strongly encouraged. It only has to be an approximate likeness, because as a species Carls typically have poor eyesight and limited reasoning capacity, and do their wandering based on scent and instinct. Prop up your Scare-Carl near your cube door for all to see. For added effect, tape some of your boss' voice in a meeting of some sort, and bury the cassette player inside.
Be sure to warn your boss in advance of your motives for scribing his likeness on a pumpkin-head. And if your boss is like mine was, you'll effectively double his woik capacity anyway. Take extra care that your 'Scare-Carl' isn't promoted ahead of your boss.
Another bonus: when you eventually part ways with your company, you'll have a ready-made burning effigy.
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How much extra is it for next-day delivery ? My VISA card number is .... |
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Product: Office Supplies. Heh. |
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No office should be without it... |
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I'll croissant this one despite the Dilbert reference (I can't stand it). |
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(Nice work, taking out the Anti-Christ, btw Rayford. I've gotta get around to reading that series one of these days.) |
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Well, you know, the A/C was getting on my nerves with all that world-domination stuff. That's Dogbert's job... |
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Didn't realize there were people out there who didn't like Dilbert... |
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I'm a proud member of the don't like Dilbert club. For starters, the quality of the drawing is woeful, and there's no attempt at characterisation. Also, its targets are so easy: who doesn't hate paperwork and bad management? I've no desire to read platitudes about how working for a high-tech company sucks; I've kind of gathered that for myself. |
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//the quality of the drawing is woeful//
I assume you're not a fan of the Simpsons or South Park either then. |
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But the difference is, South Park is intentionally bad. And actually it looks much better, uses colour very well and has charming-looking characters, and it has other compensations (voice acting, stories, songs). |
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It doesn't even have to be a high-tech industry to be Dilbertville, in my experience. All three of the companies I worked for during my auto career graduated with honors from the Dogbert school of business management. |
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