h a l f b a k e r yCeci n'est pas une idée.
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Calciballs
make balls and improve hygiene with them | |
There was a short time when little plastic balls were part of many soaps, shampoos, and other like products. They are useful for exfoliation and add a certain luxurious charm. Unfortunately they're no good for the environment. The idea is to bring back something like them.
Amorphous calcium phosphate
is just the thing. It's reasonably stable, environmentally friendly, and not too expensive. Form it into little balls and put it into soap, skin care products, and toothpaste.
[link]
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Hydroxyapatite ? Bone mineral ? |
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Sounds like a good idea. What are the other by-products of the process ? Glycerine ? Soap ? Lampshades, spectacles, shoes, suitcases ... gold teeth ? |
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Will Sir be placing a fresh order for Zyklon-B ... ? |
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You have some nerve saying that. The last batch was contaminated with so much iron my entire stock turned blue. There are only so many blue scaled shoes you can sell. I want a refund. |
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Don't worry, we're changing to environmentally-friendly waxed cardboard packaging instead of the original tin cans, so no problems there; you can even burn the empty packets for fuel. Completely "green" ! |
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No refunds. Didn't you read the small print in the contract ... ? |
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The Universe is just full of these little disappointments, isn't it ? |
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Well, can hydroxyapatite be suitably ground to produce a useful abrasive similar to the amorphous form ? It would be another step in the process, but hopefully not an expensive one. |
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We're NOT pouting, just suffering a bit from dry lips in this weather ... NOT pouting ... |
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<Turns aside and looks for something to surreptitiously kick/> |
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I suggest a naturally renewable resource, little curled up
woodbugs/woodlice/roly-polys or whatever you call them in
your country. You can breed them and allow them to reach
the end of their natural lifespan when they'll considerately
roll themselves up into the appropriate shape. |
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Sand grains are too big, but silica dust would work. Don't worry about silicosis ... |
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// whatever you call them in your country // |
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What they call just about everything that swims, crawls, or grows in Australia is "venomous" ... |
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There are birds that clean crocodile teeth and gums for them; the crocodiles obligingly gape their jaws, and do not eat the birds. Presumably birds could be trained to clean human teeth, though it would need a species with strong neck muscles and a sturdy beak so that they could grasp the brush firmly ... |
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Woodpeckers. They could also de-plaque, drill-and-fill (and bill), and remove any grubs. |
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Woodpeckers, yes. Or Toucans ... or Hornbills. |
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Maggots, mebbe. And, when they're done, swallow them whole. Mmmmm, maggots. |
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Depending on the pH, some of the calcium will ionize and
then immediately re-precipitate with the soap anion to form
a lot of soap scum and no soluble soap to do the cleaning. |
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There's plenty of exfoliating particles that are used that
aren't plastic, I've seen charcoal walnut shell fragments and
peach pit fragments, they all work just fine. |
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It would be nicely symmetric if some component of cocoa pods could be processed into such an abrasive, thus after ruining your health by ingesting unreasonably massive amounts of fat and sugar ("Hear that tiny, sad little crinkling noise ? That was your pancreas, that was ...") you could at least clean the residue off your teeth ... |
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I never heard of a soap anion. How does that interact with a water anion? |
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//AMORPHOUS calcium phosphate. Which may be
industrially produced, or exist (perhaps only briefly) in
teeth and bones on its way to becoming
hydroxyapatite.// |
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It exists in all sorts of interesting hydrated/granular forms
inside mitochondria. |
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//I never heard of a soap anion. How does that interact
with a water anion// |
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Water isn't an anion, well, a bit of an anion if you squint
and look from a specific direction. Soap is pretty simple
stuff, you start with your triglyceride of choice, add in
sodium/potassium hydroxide and some water and the
triglyceride is broken up, leaving you with 1 glycerol and
3 fatty acid chains, palmitic acid say, which at high pH
take on a negative charge, becoming palmitate, and float
around associated with the positive sodium/potassium
ion. |
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Now, if there's a lot of calcium around, like in hard
water, then you will have a lot of calcium in it's divalent
cation state (Ca2+, something I spend an extraordinary
amount of time on) where it will very likely run into two
of your palmitate anions and form a stable precipitate,
Calcium palmitate, which is soap scum and..... |
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//That was your pancreas, that was// |
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...a major component of gall stones which are a very
good way of making your pancreas self-destruct. |
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