h a l f b a k e r yFaster than a stationary bullet.
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A two-piece jigsaw puzzle, to entertain the true intellectuals* in the journalistic community during lockdown.
Has an image of a Coronavirus printed on both sides and is fully reversible, so that it's impossible to get the pieces the "wrong way up".
Keeps them occupied for literally weeks.
Under
development is a similar game for politicians, but that has only one piece, identical on both sides. Unfortunately, the test group have so far been consistently unable to assemble it. 100% failure ...
So a way of simplifying it further is being actively researched. Unfortunately testing using single-celled blue-green algae indicates that pond slime consistently outperforms politicans in this type of task, so a new model employing small pieces of damp cardboard is being tried. The results are not promising. The cardboard is doing alarmingly well. It may be necessary to revert to an entirely inorganic model.
*Only for intellectuals. NOT to be given to average or below average journalists, as they lack the mental capacity to try to solve the puzzle and breathe simultaneously. There have been deaths. We see this as a good thing, but the product liability advisers are getting nervous, and the bodies are starting to whiff a bit. Thankfully, it's easy to get rid of them by just writing "COVID" on a bit of paper pinned to their foreheads** and dumping them on street corners.
**they're dead, it can't hurt them, and besides they're only journalists.
[link]
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Is there a zero piece version for Trump supporters?
[+] |
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//zero piece...Trump supporters// Baked. Reality appears to be completely invisible to Trump and/or his supporters. |
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The situation is so dire in the Untied Staysh of 'Murica that we here in Canuckistan are considering moving our whole country to a safe distance. Our crack research teams are working on the determination of 'safe distance'; current results return a null field. |
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// completely invisible to Trump // |
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"Igor, we have customers ! Quickly, hide the ... you know ... oh, just throw a sheet over it... " |
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So, you're interested in the Premium DeLuxe "Emperor's New Clothes" version ? Certainly ! Just step into our showroom... |
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Ah, that would be Newfoundland ... |
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Yep, we're gonna need that Trumperor's New Sheet (same as the old sheet, but bigger, and orange). |
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Once-uponna-tine at the border, we could confuse the USAins with geniality and metric distances. Then someone went'n made an app for that; now they get far enough into the country that they get accustomed to being relaxé and won't go home. We've had quite enough of this, and stern talkings-to aren't working. |
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Spring soon... put up some signs pointing North reading* "Free McDonalds ! " and watch 'em trot meekly away to sink forever into the muskeg... come autumn, go collect the dessicated corpses that the hummingbird-sized mosquitoes have drained dry of every drop of blood... |
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Failing that ... "Sgt. Teacup, release... the Lumberjacks !" |
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(And the backing group of Mounties, of course). |
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*It may be best to have symbolic signs, with audio. There may not be enough "readers" to explain to the others, as dangerous intellectuals like that may be otherwise engaged. |
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<Notes that [S_T] has obviously visited Newfoundland, as the "null field" jibe went unchallenged/> |
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