h a l f b a k e r yResident parking only.
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A bus, in every way like a normal bus (excepting that this bus is full of flies), to be not so much parked as abandoned, near clusters of schoolage future commuters, which by its fly-darkened windows, muffled hum of buzz and occasional lapses insectoid security, will engender in said sprogs either fear
of transport or, years later, a deep, lasting but queerly indescribable sense of relief for the duration of each workaday schlep to cubefarm.
Flies
http://www.andypryk...gJune2005/flies.jpg
A bus load of these guys? [MikeD, Nov 04 2008]
Abandoned Bus (probably full of flies).
http://ftp.cs.stanf...hi/384/img_0044.jpg
[DrBob, Nov 05 2008]
[link]
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schoolage (sic) boys generally tend to attract flies anyway. |
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Man's best friend is a fly + |
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Beelzebub, now in Omnibus. |
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I like this idea. Don't know what that says about me. |
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There is something dreadfully wrong about this - it's almost Hirstian. The part I like is that the speculation about what kind of *meat* is slowly decomposing in the hot, dry bus in order to attract, contain and sustain - quite so many flies - is left unspoken. |
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Explain to us please how this differs from a normal Transport For London bus. |
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Bun reserved until idea expanded as 12-bar blues tune. |
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This is exactly the same as the bus full of dead pigs, but someone left a window open. |
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Other than the fact that I imagined the Bus Full of Flies (the "BFoF") to look somewhat like the until recently newsworthy "Straight Talk Express" as one might find it half-sunken but still intact in a swampy Florida scrapyard some decades hence - rear wheels rusted to rough copper, arse sticking up from the murkwater, blacked-out windows besmeared with with the dust and mud of ages, no visible entry point as the front half is submerged - I suppose the main difference between the BFoF and a normal Transport for London bus is that the BFoF is not found only within Greater London. Also, the BFoF does not bend in the middle. |
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As far as the meat goes, I would suggest that, in the interests of cost-effectiveness whatever offal is available at much cheapness within the local area. Flies, I have found, are not particularly fussy eaters. BFoF franchise-holders are not prevented from using dogshit in lieu of meat, but given that the purpose is, as stated elsewhere, to engender dread/time-delayed relief rather than flat out revulsion, the smell of keech is probably best avoided. This is particularly so if the franchise holder is intending to lure highschoolers keen to impress limber, acne-spackled opposite sexers with whatever passes for foolhardy derring-do in the suburbs onto their bus, where the highschooler can creep, baseball jacket pulled over mouth and nose, down the ailse in the buzzing, chaotic quarter-light, the relatively uneventful journey to the rear giving them just enough confidence to stop the ginger placement of feet at the point where the aisle disappears, plunging said teenager down into the otherwise tightly sealed luggage hold which is, as the kid would discover were he or she able to stand up, packed to oxter-height with yielding, sweaty meat. If the BFoF has followed the assembly instructions carefully any screams will go unheard. By this ploy the BFoF can become self sustaining and, when the pscyhological benefits to future commuters are considered, the "cost" of one or so horny gitfaced oik per tract house scheme is either small potatoes or beer, depending on custom. |
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// rear wheels rusted to rough copper//
[m-f-d] Bad chemistry |
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//That would be lawyers on a pub crawl, I presume?//
Perhaps within the Realms Antipodean, yes, but certainly not in green and pleasant Scotland, where no lawyer would deign to board, for the purposes of anything other than anthropological research (and even then!), a bus, let along partake in ghastly proletariat entertainments such as "pub crawls", rather the Legal Profession of Scotland will find its amusement in quiet contemplation, botany and covert transgressions of sexual norms. Typo fixed. |
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//like some strand of protein from my ribosome home through some ridiculous endoplasmic reticulum to be recycled daily//
[ almost-marked-for-tagline ] |
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// nothing more numbing and monotonous // |
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You aren't a listener to "Yesterday in Parliament", then ? |
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Baked on the sub-continent where you can experience the delights of all manner of crashed, burnt-out or abandoned vehicles, teeming with all kinds of insect life. The roads between major cities are littered with wreckage because everyone seems to drive like maniacs and the roads are just not quite wide enough for two vehicles to pass each other in safety. A long bus ride in India is a bowel-churning, religion inducing, white knuckle ride to oblivion. |
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There was a case few years back of some would-be illegal
immigrants who dressed up as coach seats, by wearing the
unholstery, and having removed the coach seats took their
place. Not just for fun but to get through US border
control.
A bus full of these guys which took the wrong turn into the
desert ..the end result might attract flies.
<< heavy-weight FBI investigator, on entering fly-ridden
bus. “Nope no one in here dude. Just a terrible stink, flies
and some lumpy looking seats. >>
<<starts to eat a donut, and sits down heavily on the
nearest “seat”...>>
//in every way like a normal bus// |
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Wearing the ultra thin kinetic transfer suit, Matt entered the bus. The massage experience was said to be second to none. Well... a bit disgusting but second to none. Matt chose 'do a little dance day' to add a higher dimension to the experience. |
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