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Bumper stickers are a great halfbaked invention that succeeded, however some bumper stickers are so bad they simply need to be destroyed. This invention provides the means to this necessary end.
In the ample space beneath the vehicle's front bumper a small reservoir of opaque fluid will be mounted.
A supply tube will lead from there to a small DC electric pump that will be powered by the car battery, and turned on via a switch located on the dashboard.
The pump will suck fluid from the tank, and send it to either of two nozzles fitted into small holes drilled into the front bumper. A seperate pump control can switch between nozzles. In this simple design the nozzles will correspond to the usual placement of bumper stickers on the rear bumpers of vehicles.
Fill it with WD40 and you have a winner
http://youtu.be/O3z4l1ylMcs
Remove a bumper sticker in 12 seconds [Klaatu, Dec 31 2011]
http://store.xkcd.c...tationNeededSticker
[hippo, Jan 03 2012]
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Annotation:
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I can see this leading to paint wars, with paint
nozzles being fitted to the rear bumpers of cars to
prevent you getting close enough to spray out
bumper stickers. This would lead to escalating levels
of derring-do and potential violence. [+] |
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The inevitable consequence of this will be an increase in aggressive and inconsiderate driving, road rage, and possibly numerous unnecessary injuries and deaths. |
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It must be done immediately. |
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Why does this need to escalate to violence? As long as the spray is soft enough a fairly quiet, the recipient won't notice until long after the job has been done. For all they'll know, someone cleaned up their car while they were parked. |
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Burning Bridges, [Alter]. |
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Yes, lost forever more. ^+ |
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It was the first thing I thought of when I read this post. |
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Note that a back-channel conversation might curb
the enthusiasm of others. |
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Oh, alright; if any bystanders are wondering, watch the
movie 'Kelly's Heroes' and you'll get the joke. |
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[+] A methanol - fueled flamethrower. Colorless flame for stealth. Could be used on entire vehicle if bumper sticker is really nasty. |
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Could also be used on cameras. |
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Most bumper stickers would benefit from having a Wikipedia-style "[Citation needed]" sticker (see link) stuck next to them. |
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I have a friend who got an unexpected shipment of 1,000 "Earth First" stickers. He likes to put them over the registration stickers of Hummers. |
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Also, beware: In many places, it is actually illegal to discharge liquid from a vehicle. I guess there used to be a lot of problems with windshield sprayers turned backwards, water ballon fights gone horribly wrong, and/or spyhunter style oil slicks. |
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