Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
The phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.

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BuggyWhip

Biological Bug Zapper
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An insect control device genetically chimerized to incorporate the Venus Fly Trap and the Chameleon’s Tongue, with lightning reflexes and independently-moving eyes.

Sitting on a shelf in the kitchen or bedroom, this attractive potted plant looks great, feeds itself, and provides hours of wholesome family entertainment. When a mosquito, fly, midge, roach, or wasp gets within a foot of this wonderful addition to any room, the prehensile “tongue” shoots out and brings the tasty morsel back to be ingested.

As time passes, and depending on your level of ambient insect activity, the BuggyWhip will grow and require a larger base. Larger BuggyWhips may be split into two or more clone parts to propagate. After insects are virtually cleared it may be necessary to hand-feed your BuggyWhip with meal worms, beef, or other dense protein to avoid unpleasant reaching and grabbing as you pass when they get hungry.

minoradjustments, Jan 03 2024

Some prior art Venus_20Caracole
[pertinax, Jan 04 2024]


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Annotation:







       [pertinax] Since I’m deep in the weeds with genetic mish-mosh, I could do some legs for your Venus Fly Traps and teach them to do the caracole. Or a Busby Berkeley number on the shelf, with bugs. Square dance?
minoradjustments, Jan 05 2024
  

       I think this would not work because a plant does not have the central nervous system to process item identification and location and to trigger directed movement. So, mfd bad science.
pocmloc, Jan 05 2024
  

       Like Audrey? No way. The BuggyWhip doesn’t sing! It doesn’t threaten! There’s not a mean bone in its body. (There’s not any kind of bone in its body.) It likes people! And not to eat!
minoradjustments, Jan 07 2024
  


 

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