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Bubbles: Attack of the Killer Goldfish

 He's cute. He's adorable. He weighs three tons - and he's HUNGRY
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Little snippet on NPR this AM mentioned a three-pound goldfish being caught in a Michigan lake. Goldfish (a/k/a koi, right?) can apparently grow much larger than they do in a household aquarium...

So what happens when little Timmy lets his goldfish go into a recreational lake near a nuclear power plant, where an unscrupulous contractor has been disposing of low-level radioactive waste?

Yes, it's JAWS - but with a GOLDFISH.

—smendler, Jan 17 2013

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       Bubbles been drinking too much ;-)
—blissmiss, Jan 17 2013
   

       The pitch: It's Pirahna 3D meets Memento!
—calum, Jan 17 2013
   

       Oh, come on. Surely you realise that radioactive waste won't make animals grow to enormous sizes, right?   

       Everyone knows it's cosmic radiation that does that. Radioactive waste only makes things glow in the dark.
—Wrongfellow, Jan 17 2013
   

       So, you go swimming in Michigan Lake (Lake Michigan, perhaps?) and you are accosted by a rhino-sized, green, glowing "goldfish"?   

       I'd start drinking bottled water and nothing else, if I were you. Sounds like you've watched too many B movies from the 60s.   

       Either that or get a bigger boat.
—UnaBubba, Jan 17 2013
   

       //So what happens when little Timmy lets his goldfish go into a recreational lake near a nuclear power plant, where an unscrupulous contractor has been disposing of low-level radioactive waste?//   

       A: The goldfish enjoys the warmer water, and has an ever so slightly increased risk of developing cancer.
—MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 17 2013
   

       And of growing three eyes. I know it's true... I saw it on The Simpsons.
—UnaBubba, Jan 17 2013
   

       Yes, obviously the three eyes. You didn't say this was in Norfolk.
—MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 17 2013
   

       I always wondered why Clarkson looks the way he does.
—UnaBubba, Jan 17 2013
   

       We all do.
—MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 17 2013
   


 

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