h a l f b a k e r yI think, therefore I am thinking.
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I have a mind a large, possibly 15 foot in diameter, orrery.
The device is lovingly hand-crafted in brass and mahogany, and is propelled by one of the Newcomen engines, complete with little man in a flat cap and brown coat to add small scoops of coal to the boiler, wipe the pressure dials and add
pennies to the regulator in order to maintain accuracy.
You may well ask, what's British about this? Well, by the means of certain extra levers and gears, the movements of that one celestial object never visible from Britain - the Sun - is clearly depicted.
As such, it will be a great aid to sellers of astronomical equipment who will, at last, be able to put something in the "non-fiction" section of orrerys.
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// that one celestial object never visible from
Britain the Sun - is clearly depicted // |
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It's just a myth, like Bigfoot, the Loch Ness
Monster, and Swindon. |
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You orreryble little man, wipe the spittle from the
hedge of this 'ere table! |
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Come, come, now. It's widely accepted that the only by the axial tilt of the planet, bring us more in more inline with this "sun" is what produces the changes of the seasons. |
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I know it hard to take such a matter on trust, after all none of us has actually seen this "sun", but according to those in the colonies, it would seem to be the truth. |
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How else are we to explain those three days in late July, when it stops snowing and we just have cold rain instead? |
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A trip to northern France? |
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Luckily it's not necessary to visit there. Newton by working out the orbits of the other celestial bodies, on clear nights, definitely proved that there must be a very large mass in the centre of our system. |
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That is never visible from Britain would seem to be purely down to a quirk of climate and celestial mechanics. |
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As I speak, a Royal Society particle detector project is under way in the south of England, funded by public subscription, which hopes to provide definitive proof, one way or another, of these elusive particles, provisionally dubbed "sol-ons". |
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Three days of rain and tinea, instead of sleet and
chilblains. |
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Ahh, you've been reading that English Tourist Board literature again. They always try to make it sound more interesting than it is... |
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Dunno about that. My first full day in England was
one of sleet, frost and miserable cold. Truly
delightful. |
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Apparently, some people purchase solar
panels in the UK. That's like a Sahara
Nomadic tribe buying a water wheel. |
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//Dunno about that. My first full day in England was one of sleet, frost and miserable cold. |
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Yes, it's a great advantage to very wide-ranging orienteers, simply by going outside, you can be sure you're in England |
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//some people purchase solar panels in the UK |
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Yes, we frequently encourage them by telling them how much we admire their optimism. |
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