h a l f b a k e r yThe leaning tower of Piezo
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heheh [+] though [bs] I don't think a khaki purse would be high up on a thief's list. |
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Straps could be reinforced and/or have an outer breakaway shell as well. |
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<posh elderly voice> A - handbag? <pev> |
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[po] cunningly leaves the thief holding the baby... |
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//I guess with your military training you could react to that in kind// |
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Damn straight! No body is stealing *my* purse! |
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Actually this is my girlfriend's idea. I tried to convince her to start her own profile, here on the HB, but she is happy with passing the idea along to me. |
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<Insert standard anti-purse/handbag rant> |
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Better: convince human females to wear trousers with proper pockets. |
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Human females who are not convinced should be encouraged to put on skimpy dresses and high-heeled shoues they can't run in, have too much to drink, and then go out alone and take the short cut though the fog-filled graveyard where the deformed psychopath is known to lurk.
If they survive, send them out again the next night until they get the message, or (preferably) are found the next morning chopped up into medium-sized pieces and stuffed into a selection of handbags .. |
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//convince human females to wear trousers with proper pockets// |
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But she *does* wear the pants ... |
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Do they have pockets suitable for carrying money, Swiss Army Knife, house keys, Leatherman multi-tool, vehicle keys, LED flashlight, compass, USB pendrive, small bottle of gun oil and small leather wallet containing two AA cells, two AAA cells, one CR2032 lithium coin cell and a spare cellphone battery ? |
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If not, it's fog-filled graveyard time. |
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A woman, [8th]. A woman. I want to date a woman. Not McGyver or Chuck Norris. I want to be with a woman. |
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At one point during college I was engaged in a discussion of alternative storage locations for women. It was related specifically to palm pilots at the time, but it has other applications. It was primarily intended for for use with evening wear. Specific suggestions were the obvious one that depends on endowment, thigh holster (slit dresses), ankle holster (long dresses), and embedding a sleeve in a french twist type hairstyle. |
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And yes, the women I went to school with were the types that carried PDAs while in formal wear. |
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// the types that carried PDAs while in formal wear // |
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They're nearly the best sort. |
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The best sort not only carry PDAs but also handguns. |
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I've tried, but I can't get my girl past carrying pepper spray, stun guns, and "tactical" flashlights. She does shoot well though. |
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normz, maybe she is like me and you just don't know
it, and she parks her cannon around the block from
your house...out of sight...she could. "Touch my
purse you blockhead, and I'll make paper towels outta
your brain". That's our creed. |
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they don't call you blastmiss for nothing. |
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//I'll make paper towels outta your brain// |
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Ever since I showed my girlfriend how to operate the 12 gauge I keep in the bedroom, I feel obliged to announce my self *both loudly *and sweetly when I come home from work ... lest I receive a buck-shot facial through the bedroom door. |
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8th, several types of gadgets require a pair of CR2030 cells, so having just one might be insufficient. |
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You could have the breakaway part of the purse contain a type indellable dye. It could explode all over the criminal when it gets more than X meters from the purse. |
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It'd make them think twice before taking another purse... |
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Sub a fragmentary grenade for the dye and they will either think more than twice or less than once. |
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