h a l f b a k e r yClearly this is a metaphor for something.
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Ideal for picnicking families or scout groups.
This sparkling chrome appliance has two adjacent hoppers: Place a loaf of sliced bread in one and a packet of peeled cheese slices in the other. A dial on each hopper is used to describe the thickness of bread and cheese to the machine. A large knob of
butter must also be fed into a small tray near the bread hopper.
Upon starting, a mechanical blade-like bar zig-zags between the bread slices. This butters the bread by pumping the butter along a ridge on the blade. The blade follows a path calculated from the inputted size thickness of the bread.
Next, very thin, 1 inch long shelves jutt out of the inside of the hoppers at intervals defined by the dial to seperate the different slices. The facing sides of each hopper slide open and the two piles of ingredients are brought within a whisker of each other.
In a stunning maneouvre of dexterity the machine then flicks the shelves with a piston that travels up between the piles. All but the last shelf are retracted in an instant. A veritable wave is created and the two food piles are reconciled together in a split second. All that remains is for the user to remove the top (spare) slice of bread and place it on the bottom.
A whole loaf's worth of sandwiches in an instant.
*Doesn't have to be cheese - but I imagine this working with 'single' [see linky] slices of cheese and bread.
** Its almost a perfect shuffle if you consider 2 slices of bread at a time:
b¦b¦c¦b¦b¦c¦b¦b¦c¦
Now, remove the first piece of bread and place it at the end. Why have I done this convoluted way? A. Because a riffle shuffle is a cool thing to see and B. because this is the H'B and I deliberately haven't thought of a better way.
Cheese
http://www.linfordo...ges/4017-DOT324.jpg
This is what I imagine being used. [Jinbish, Feb 02 2005, last modified Aug 28 2006]
Bread
http://www.ciadvert...-sliced%20bread.jpg
Its reigning holder of the title "The best thing"! [Jinbish, Feb 02 2005]
Riffle Shuffle
http://web.superb.n...sleights/riffle.htm
You know you do it right when you here a satisfying "Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-." [Jinbish, Feb 02 2005]
(?) Best thing since sliced cheese...
The_20greatest_20th...d_20cheese_2e_2e_2e
I have to admit I was inspired by this: What if it were the best thing since sliced bread AND cheese?! [Jinbish, Feb 02 2005]
[link]
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Can I have an entire loaf filled with swiss cheese and mayo please.(what about French stick bread?) |
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Have a portion of my croissant [+] |
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Bread and cheese [+]. Sliced loaf and Kraft singles [-]. Sandwich riffling machine [+++]. |
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calories -
diet -
wish I'd thought of it + |
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Since this is the HB, you could certainly add a feature to allow loading uncut bread, uncut cheese, other ingredients, condiments, and have the machine do the slicing for you. |
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The machine would need to have some preset alarms like "Low Cheese","Bread Jam", etc.... |
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I reckon our photocopier could do this... I've often mused as to why it has so many trays, and why you can adjust the paper thickness, it seems obvious now. One for A5 multigrain, one for A5 cheese slices. Hell it even warms them for you. |
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I'd buy this with the secret hope that something would go horribly, horribly wrong. |
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"I dunno! It just says: Cheese jammed in tray 4. I keep checking tray 4, but I can't seem to clear it! Oh, wait, what's this mustard... Nooooooo!!!!" |
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I absolutely *love* this idea - even more so, I love the fact that everyone's completely (very likely on purpose) overlooked the fact that for every complete sandwhich in the
b|b|b|b|b|...b|b|
sequence, there's a spare bit of cheese! (discounting Wagstarian sandwich-sandwiches and other exotic sandwiches described elsewhere within these pages) |
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e.g. Say may scout-group consists of 10 boys + 1 Arkhala and a loaf of 30 slices and 30 pieces of cheese are so enruffled, if boy 1 takes a sandwhich off the top of the pile (i.e. bread, cheese, bread) then the item facing up is a slice of cheese. He needs to either fling the toppermost cheese, or to procure an additional slice of bread from a "discard pile" so placed for this very purpose. |
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You need either a second shuffling pass, or a particular load-out in order to get a configuration that goes:
b|bb|bb|bb|bb|bb|bb|bb|bb
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[edit] ahh, hold on a minute, I was mistaking the | character for a piece of cheese, rather than a generic separator - my mistake, carry on! |
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// I deliberately haven't thought of a better way.// |
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//[edit]//
Yep. c = cheese. b = bread. | = imaginary boundary. |
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And cheese sandwich equation is:
S = b+c+b
Or - taking only magnitudes into account S = 2b+c. |
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//| = imaginary boundary// - only if your sandwiches are in the complex plane |
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