h a l f b a k e r y"Bun is such a sad word, is it not?" -- Watt, "Waiting for Godot"
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Many office foyer areas are decorated with elaborate displays of large houseplants while the poor office workers are stuck in their dismal cubicles on the upper floors.
Botanical Office Roombas will relieve this problem as they quietly rove around the office space, resting at random desks for a while
before moving on. To remain healthy, the Roombas are programmed to spend time at the windows in order for the shrubs to benefit from natural light.
As an addded benefit, along with their calming colours and smells, there are the quiet recorded sounds of nature being emitted from the roving plants in the form of insect buzzing and bird song.
Everyone needs to be calmer. It makes you less stressed; less angry; less confrontational and more productive.
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In keeping with my protocol of putting political differences aside when an idea is good: [+]. |
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So, Roombas, with plants on top? |
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Presumably they make an occasional visit to the water cooler where they can briefly mount a pedal on the floor to water themselves from an appropriately placed spigot? |
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[visits triggered by sensors in the pot calibrated to the particular plants moisture preferences perhaps?] |
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Do they remove themselves to charging stations overnight or were we going with wireless power transfer within the office? |
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//programmed to spend time at the windows// |
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Distributing a few grow lamps about in place of some of the ordinary light fitments would obviate the need to spend as much time at the windows. |
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While also doubling as SAD light therapy lamps to further lift the spirits of any susceptible individuals with a cubicle further removed from a window spot. |
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There must be a few wavelengths that are suitable to some degree for both tasks without an overly high risk of cancer? |
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Maybe we could do the same for the cubicles and desks, every morning a new floor plan and a little maze as a morning brain teaser for the staff (find your desk) before the start of the daily grind .. there could be a prize for the fastest time, a donut with sprinkles perhaps. |
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Orange trees would be good, add a small hive of stingless bees in the corner to service them. |
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Maybe add some AI to the roomba where it's got lenses, a little screen and recognizes you. Maybe smiles when you water it. |
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Have it hooked up to a happiness meter, soil condition meter etc. Give it a voice, it walks up and says in a cartoony voice appropriate for what kind of plant it is "Hey Bob, I'm getting kind of thirsty, do you think I could have some of that delicious water with nitrogen, phosphorus, and potassium that you make? It's really good!" |
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Your going to need to provide the girls in the office with a funnel [doc], otherwise they're going to get it all over the floor, the factory standard kit isn't known for accuracy .. oh, and ew! |
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I think it might be better if they just visited the water cooler. |
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Are you gonna suggest that when you water them they say “Ohhhh yea!! Oooooo that feels good!”? |
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Because that would be disgusting. |
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//smiles when you water it. // A recipe for overwatering. it should frown when it's too dry or too wet. |
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Oh, more than that, it would say "Whoa cowboy! Hold up, gonna drown me here!" |
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So was that the autoboner or have we an agent of that well known foliage rights group PETS (people for ethical treatment of shrubbery) in the building? |
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//stingless bees// This is a Job for the HB Hoverfly! |
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Optional add-on: small 'Laugh-In' Arte Johnson helmeted 'Wolfgang' character pops out and opines 'Veeeerrryy interestink!' in response to office gossip, for example |
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I’m old enough to get that. |
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