h a l f b a k e r yThe word "How?" springs to mind at this point.
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I'd suggest that some of the most boring text I've read has been generated by computers. See Hallmark cards for examples (I assume that these are computer generated, as no human could generate such tat without experiencing an overwhelming urge to terminate themselves). |
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Nice idea, but the technology probably limits function to correcting grammar and replacing jargon with more commonly understood words. |
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I'd agree on both points. Maybe the program could contain a
massive database of classic literature, as well as linking to
the internet to grab more modern examples of clever
English. With all that information it might be more
effective. |
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If you want to make your literature more exiting, throw it out the
window. |
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That would only be exiting if it hit someone... |
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... while it *left the building*. |
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Don't forget to print it in a dramatic font |
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I googled Hallmark cards, and the first thing i came by was: 'Happiness is like peeing in your pants - everyone can see it, but only you can feel it's warmth' - which is a lot better than a lot of cards i got sent. |
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About the idea: I guess it is impossible, as it basically would require the computer to understand what the author is trying to say. With a big enough database it might be possible, but one has to take into account the differing receptions a piece of language can have: There are actual buyers for even the worst cards. Possibly a database comprising the global taste might not serve to betterify language. |
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exiting, stage left, pursued by a bear |
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what if the B.E.A. can only find a spelling error to banter about without the author ever detecting the irony?. |
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I would venture to suggest, although I wouldn't positively affirm it, that jargon-heavy articles have already been processed in this way by their authors. The usage and application of jargon (or 'argot' as it is sometimes known) is often, but by no means always, used in order to make the subject matter of the text seem rather more mysterious, deep, technical or otherwise interesting than is the case in reality. As this process a) makes reading and understanding the text more difficult and b) represents a form of dishonesty on the part of the author (even if only a minor one), I am compelled to cast my vote in the strongly negative. I therefore humbly offer up the osseous tissue of a gilled, finned, non-tetrapod chordate. |
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Not sure really, I was halfway through baking the idea when the boring English I was using to think about it lulled me into a comatose state. |
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