h a l f b a k e r yBunned. James Bunned.
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The Japanese are a cunning lot, and have spent the last
couple of millenia perfecting the art of bonsai*. This art
has been refined to the point where, in a mere century
or
two, a miniature tree can be grown that resembles a
weather-beaten, gnarly full-sized tree. Great effort is
put
into
achieving the gnarliness and weather-beatenness.
Howevertheless, a miniature gnarly weather-beaten tree
looks pretty silly sitting on a desk and being watered
with
what would be, in scale, a 60ft-diameter watering can.
What's needed, obvidently, is bonsai weather to go with
the bonsai tree. MaxCo. has already taken the first
tentative steps in this direction. It is necessary, first, to
enclose the bonsai in a draft-proof transparent
container,
which is hermetically sealed. A double-walled container
is
ideal, as it helps to insulate the arrangement from
external
temperatures.
By very, very precisely regulating the temperature
gradient, pressure and humidity within the container, it
is
possible to create miniature clouds which approximate
the
form of their larger brethren (cumulus, though, is
tricky).
Cloud-seeding using an automated dispenser of ultra-
fine
silver iodide particles can be used to create localized
downpours of very tiny raindrops. We are also working
on
electrostatic devices which can generate the relevant
lightning bolts, perhaps even scarring the bonsai in a
scale-
faithful manner. Snow is proving more difficult, but we
are working on it.
Unfortunately, the costs of all this work look unlikely to
be
recovered from sales. We are therefore handing over all
of
our research materials to the Japanese, in the hopes that
a
further couple of thousand years will see the
development
of a true art of bonsai weather, replete with its
legendary
cloud-masters and rain-sculptors.
*To be fair, they also invented origami, so it's not as if
those two thousand years were entirely wasted.
Bonsai Mountains
https://wiki.lspace...ki/Bonsai_Mountains
[Skewed, Mar 17 2018]
A snow-girl's best friend.
https://en.wikipedi...g/wiki/Diamond_dust
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Mar 17 2018]
[link]
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This might be an occasion for implementing a Spike Milligan
poem, viz. |
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"There are holes in the sky where the rain gets in,
But they're terribly small; that's why rain is thin." |
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But won't you have terrible struggles with surface tension? |
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My first bonsai lasted six months. |
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The third one made it about two years, before an unexpected sunshower made it's location inhospitable. |
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I grieve for them all - of course, I grieve pretty easily these days, but I'll get over it eventually. |
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[pertinax] I think we'll be OK. The minute droplets that
make up clouds can be the same size as in full-sized clouds.
As for raindrops, in East Anglia we already have a special
variety of rain* consisting of tiny droplets barely big enough
to fall that slowly drift downwards - I think they'd be about
right. |
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[*edit: I've checked, and apparently it's imported from
Belgium and paid for out of our council tax.] |
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Have this miniature croissant in the hope of attracting an
even smaller bird. |
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//Howevertheless, a miniature gnarly weather-beaten tree
looks pretty silly sitting on a desk and being watered with
what would be, in scale, a 60ft-diameter watering can.// |
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This is of course the whole point of the exercise (perhaps),
allows the watering can wielder to indulge
megalomaniac tendencies & pretend they're god in
relatively harmless fashion. |
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My reverse-telescope glasses, an early form of AR were
spurned by the Japs. I thought they would save them a lot
of time and effort. Now I realise wasting time and effort
that was the whole point... |
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First baked by Terry (GNU Terry Pratchett) in Thief of Time (I
think it is?) with the Bonsai Mountains of the history monks. |
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If anyone has an earlier non-Terry example I'd be fascinated to
hear it. |
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Yes, miniature snowflakes will be hard to recreate.
Your best bet is to attempt to simulate Diamond Dust. [link] |
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hmmm the cold needed would certainly kill the plants, but if the 'cold-sink' were held in the area beneath the plants then you might be able to get this effect at an elevation which won't freeze them. |
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I think you could make snow sufficiently fine to work with
bonsai. Real snow varies from centimetre-sized fluffs,
through to tiny little dust-sized ice particles. Very little
snow actually falls as nice hexagonal "snowflakes". |
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It would all come down to air pressure then. Enough to cause the tiniest of crystals to precipitate and fall while not hurting the trees. |
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It would be something to see. |
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I don't think air pressure would have a significant effect.
They key parameters are humidity, temperature and the
presence of nucleating dust particles. |
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At the right temperature a vaporizer would give you the localised humidity you'd need, maybe even without nucleating particles, I just meant that I can't see any micro-crystals 'falling' from an upper low pressure area into a lower high pressure area until they become large enough for gravity to drag them into it thus spoiling the illusion of an extremely tiny snow storm, whereas un upper high pressure system should push the flakes downwards into a lower pressure while still micro. |
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On a side note; a bonsai tornado/trailer park would be cool too. |
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Ah, so you mean a downdraft? Yes, but I think ice particles
big enough to see will fall at a reasonable speed. In fact,
you want them to fall slowly to be in scale with the tree. |
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I'm guessing a full-sized snowflake falls at maybe a metre
per second (highly dependent on size and shape). If your
bonsai is on the order of 1/100th tree-size, you'd want the
ice crystals to fall at 1cm/s. |
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Coincidentally, it is snowing here now. |
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The good thing about Canada is there is always someplace to go. And there is always something to do. One day it'll start snowing, and it won't quit for four months. We'll be through every kind of snow there is. Little bitty stingin' snow, and big ol' fat snow, snow that flies in sideways, and sometimes snow even seeming to come straight up from underneath. Shoot, it even snows at night.... |
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That micro-crystalline snow making Diamond dust doesn't really fall. It could be made to fall but mainly it just twinkles and looks pretty. Deadly too when it's cold enough out to see the air crystalizing.
Lots of deadly things are pretty. |
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I like bigass inch-wide (joined) flakes - means there's no wind. |
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// fall at 1cm/s // SF6 salted with CO2 ? Maybe a pressurized container. |
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You might be able to do something with an ultrasonic mister. Unless you want it to snow all the time, I doubt many trees are going to be bothered by the occasional cold wind. |
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What about condensation on the container sides ? |
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Indium-tin oxide heaters could prevent condensation. |
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